Sober
by secretflame
Summary: "I must have been drunk the first time that the thoughts entered my head, because there is no way I would have thought them sober. "
1. Chapter 1

A/N:

…..I really miss this fucking show.

Anyway…

Read, Review, Enjoy.

-Flame

* * *

I must have been drunk the first time that the thoughts entered my head, because there is no way I would have thought them sober. And everyone knows that once you think something once, it stays in your head for a while, right?

It's not like anything has changed. She still isn't my friend. Hell, you couldn't really call us acquaintances, either. We're more of antagonists, constantly trying to outdo the other in every medium. She would deny that of course, but I know better. I see the look in her eyes when she's up there performing. It's a look of competitiveness, and a glint of a challenge. And so I give it to her.

The only reason I even care about her at all is because she gives me a challenge. She makes me work harder. But, I hate her for that too.

So why the fuck can't I get her out of my head?

* * *

It all began when Beck and I broke up.

* * *

_Before_

I pushed my way through the doors of Hollywood Arts, knocking a few freshmen out of my way when they were too slow to move. One of them started to object as he was pushed aside, but one look from me, and he shrunk back, terrified. A smirk formed on my lips, the satisfaction of striking fear into another's heart filling me with elation.

That smirk was washed away when I saw who was leaning against my locker door.

She was touching one of the scissors glued to the metal, her eyes focused on it. She hadn't seen me come in.

"You have three seconds to remove your hand from that before I cut it off, Vega." I snapped, walking up to her. "One." Her eyes grew wide. "Two." Her hand flew off the scissors, slapping against her side. I rolled my eyes, pushing her aside as I started to twirl the combination. "Smart decision." The lock clicked, and I opened the door, grabbing my physics textbook off the top shelf. "Now, what do you want?"

"Have you seen Beck?" she asked. I looked over at her for a moment, then turned my attention back to my locker.

"No." I stepped back, slamming the locker door shut. I began to walk away, suddenly eager to get away from Vega, and the look in her eyes that I didn't understand. Of course, she followed me.

"Well, I need to talk to him, so if you could…"

I stopped dead in my tracks, whirling around so I could face her. "Vega, I don't have any plans to talk to Beck, so you can go find him yourself, and leave me the hell alone."

"You know, just because you guys broke up doesn't mean that you have to avoid him."

I gripped my textbook harder, fingernails making indents in the cover. "I'm not avoiding him, I just…" I stopped, shaking my head. "I don't need to explain myself to you!" I turned around, walking away again.

This time, I wasn't followed.

* * *

Sikowitz's class. The only class that I actually semi-liked, much less tolerated. Sure, I'm still not exactly sure what we are supposed to be learning, since his lessons range from acting to coconut husbandry, but that doesn't matter. What matters is that it was relatively interesting.

Incidentally, it was also the only class that I had with Vega and Beck. And it was because of that, for the first time in my life, I dreaded going to Sikowitz's.

I wasn't dreading it because of Vega. God, no. I could deal with her, easily, like I did every day. No, it was Beck that I didn't want to see. Because I knew that the second he saw me, he would beg for me to take him back, just like always. And I would resist for a bit, but eventually relent, and get back together with him. Just like always. That's just the way things worked.

I was getting a bit tired of the cycle, though.

I forced myself to stop thinking as I entered Sikowitz's room. A blast of noise hit me as I walked through the door; a storm of voices that I couldn't focus on.

Everyone was talking to everyone else, and maybe it was just me, but it seemed like the conversation was utterly meaningless. I found my seat, glaring at those who turned to look at me as I sat down.

I swung my bag off of my shoulder, placing it on the seat next to me. I glanced around, taking in the mayhem.

To my left, Robbie was talking to Cat, his hand shoved up the ass of that damned puppet. I couldn't tell which one was talking right then, the boy or the doll, but it didn't matter. Both tended to just spout bullshit. Cat was laughing though, so whoever was talking was saying something funny.

To my right, Tori and Andre were bent over a notebook, with Andre furiously scribbling. Tori's head was bent close to his, and he was nodding periodically, his pencil going faster every time he did so.

And directly in front of me sat Beck, who was staring at me, an expectant look in his eyes.

"Good afternoon." He said, running a hand through his hair.

I ignored him, turning my attention to my bag, pretending to rummage around in it for a pencil. I could feel him staring at me, but I refused to acknowledge it. After a moment, I heard him sigh and shift around in his seat. I glanced up to find that he had turned back around, facing the stage.

The door next to the stage burst open, slamming against the wall. The crash made everyone shut up and look towards the doorway, in which stood our fashionably late teacher.

"Everyone up!" he yelled, waving his arms up and down wildly. We groaned, but complied, rising to our feet.

"Now, everyone on this side of the room will pick a name out of this hat!" he walked over to the stage, pulling a top hat out from behind the curtain. "Whoever you pick shall be your partner for our next project!"

He made his way around our side of the room, eventually finding his way over to where Beck and I sat. I chose first, groaning as I opened up the slip of paper in my hand.

_Sinjin VanCleef._

I gritted my teeth, looking up at Beck, who was in the middle of picking his own slip of paper. I waited for Sikowitz to walk away before speaking. "Switch with me."

Beck glanced up at me, his paper held between his index and middle fingers. "What?"

"You heard me. Switch with me."

His eyebrows rose. "Why should I?"

I glared at him. "Because, I will end up murdering you if you don't." I held out my slip. "Switch." I hesitated a moment. "Please?"

He started to reach out for my slip, then brought his hand back. "Wait….first things first. You gotta promise to come over tonight."

"Beck…." I growled, feeling the anger rise in my chest. He rolled his eyes.

"Not for that. I just want to talk things over." He held out his slip. "Deal?"

I took another glance at the slip in my hand, then grabbed his, shoving mine back into the space where his had occupied a moment before. "Deal."

He grinned, turning away. "Cool. See you at seven."

I took a deep breath, trying to calm down. I was interrupted, however, by Sikowitz, who had found his way back to the stage.

"Okay! Now, find your partner, and stand with them!"

It dawned on me that I hadn't even looked at whose name was on the slip Beck had given me. I unfolded it, and groaned once more.

_Tori Vega._

Figures.

Everyone started to move around, joining their partners. Beck found Sinjin, whose face lit up when he saw who his partner was. Creep.

I saw Tori look around, wondering who her partner was. My hand closed around the paper slip in my hand.

Her eyes met mine, and I could tell that she knew that it was me. The flash of fear in her gaze, and the frown on her lips confirmed it. I couldn't help but smirk as I looked away, picking up my bag off the chair, and walking over to where she stood.

I threw my bag down on the chair next to the one that Tori had been occupying, then looked at her, frowning. "Guess I'm stuck with you then, Vega."

"You don't have to sound so enthused about it," she replied, sarcasm practically dripping from her words.

"Trust me. I'm not." I looked up to where Sikowitz stood. "So, what are we doing now?" I shouted, wanting to get it moving along.

He looked at me, shaking his head with a smile. "Ah, Jade. So….pleasant. Like sour coconut milk in the moonlight." He didn't wait for our reactions before continuing. "You will all be creating a demonstration of your talents. Whether that means you write a play, or a song, or even a mime act, I don't care! Just show me something that you can do!" He clapped his hands, then sat down, grabbing his coconut. "Now be gone! Go home!"

"Uhm….sir?" Andre began, obviously confused. "It's only…"

"Go!" Sikowitz yelled, waving us off. We all sort of glanced at each other, shrugged, and walked out of the room.

* * *

"Jade."

I walked faster, trying to get away from the trailing annoyance.

"Jade, we have to figure out what we're doing." Tori walked faster, stepping in front of me, stopping. I was forced to stop, stumbling a bit in order to not run into her.

"Get out of my way, Vega."

She shook her head, stepping to the left in order to block me as I tried to go around her. "No. We have to work on this, and figure out when we can meet up to get it done."

"Are you busy tonight?" I asked after a moment, trying to keep myself from pushing her aside. She was right, we did need to work on it, so I had to put up with her and her bull.

"No, but…"

"Good." I pushed past her, making my way towards the exit. "I'll be over around eight."

If she replied, I didn't know. I was already gone.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N:

Read, Review, Enjoy.

-Flame

* * *

Beck had told me that he just wanted to talk, and that much was true.

He was such a smooth talker, with plenty of apologies and sweet nothings, and when he asked to get back together, I immediately said yes. It wasn't even a question, really. He knew my answer before I arrived, just like he always did, but he offered anyway, giving me a moment to respond before leaning in for a kiss.

One thing led to another, and I found myself lying beneath him, crying out in pleasure. Then it was over, and we lay there, panting, arms wrapped around each other.

I'm not sure how long it was until I actually checked the clock, but when I finally did, I discovered that I was running late. "Fuck." I rolled over, out of his grasp. He sat up on his elbow, confused.

"What?"

I stood, searching for my clothes. "I was supposed to meet Vega at eight to work on Sikowitz's project."

He watched as I pulled my clothes back on, waiting until I had my pants pulled up before speaking again. "You could always call and tell her you can't make it…"

I shook my head, tugging my shirt down over my chest. "Can't. She'll never let me go until I make an effort to help with this thing. Better now than later." I walked over to the door, hand gripping the handle. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, sure." He lay back down, his hands clasped behind his head. "Night, Jade."

I opened the door. "Later."

* * *

The doorbell had only been rung a moment before when Tori opened the door. She must have been sitting close by, waiting for me, perhaps.

"Eager, much?" I asked, stepping inside the Vega household.

"You're late." She replied, crossing her arms, jaw set. "You said you'd be here at eight…where were you?"

"And it's eight thirty. Be glad I showed up at all." I made sure to dodge her question, moving onto something else before she could think too hard. I looked around, smelling an aroma of garlic and tomato. I spotted a pot sitting on the stove, steam slowly rising from it. "That smells…good."

"It better smell good," she grumbled, leading me into the kitchen, motioning for me to set my bag on the table. "I spent all night making it."

"You cooked for me? I'm touched, Vega." I pulled out a chair, sitting down.

She leaned against the counter, looking at me for a moment. "I didn't cook for you, I cooked for me. You just happened to be coming over, so I made extra." She turned, grabbing plates off the marble behind her, then walked over to pot. "You do eat spaghetti, right?"

"Yeah. So, where's the rest of the Vega family?"

Tori started scooping spaghetti onto the plates. "Mom is visiting her sister. Dad's at work. Trina…" she paused, turning to face me, the plates piled high with steaming pasta. "You know, I don't know where Trina is."

"Do you really care?"

She walked over, setting a plate in front of me. "Not at all."

"At least you're truthful." I picked up the fork that lay next to the plate, twirling a noodle around in idly. "So, what exactly do you want to do for this stupid assignment?"

Tori shrugged, sitting in a seat at the other end of the table, directly across from me. "I don't know. I want to focus on acting, though…maybe a play?"

"No offense, Vega, but you're a better singer than you are an actress." I remarked, bringing the fork up to my mouth. "Is a play a good choice?"

"Do you have something else in mind?" she asked, a bitter touch in her voice. "Because you're a great actress, so I figured that a play…"

"If I agree to a play, will you shut up?"

Tori stared at me, a burst of air pushing past her lips in a huff. "No, because that won't make you happy."

I took another bite of spaghetti, rolling my eyes. "And just why are you so concerned about my happiness?"

"Because I know you, and if you're not happy, then you won't stop complaining until you get your way. I don't feel like dealing with that."

Eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Did you just actually say something ballsy to me?" I watched as her face went red. She looked like she was about to apologize, or start stammering, when I raised my hand, shaking my head. "I'm fairly impressed. We'll do a play."

She looked at me, the surprise evident in her expression. "What?"

"I said, we'll do a play." I cocked my head to the right slightly, biting my fork. "Unless you don't want to…"

"No!" she exclaimed, excited. "No, I want to!"

"Good." I looked back down at my food. "Now all we have to do is figure out the script. But, we can do that after we finish eating."

Tori took a bite, her eyes never once glancing down at her food. "So…"

"Is there something that you want, Vega? You haven't stopped staring at me since I arrived."

A vibrant blush spread across her cheeks. "No…you just…your hair is really weird."

"My…hair?" I reached up, fingers tangling in the strands. Realization dawned on me as I realized just how tangled and wild my hair felt, and apparently, looked. "Oh, uh…"

"Just _why_ were you late, again?" she asked, biting her lip to hide her smile. I shot a glare at her, embarrassment flooding over me.

"None of your business, Vega." I set my fork down, pushing my chair back. "Thanks for the food." I stood, grabbing my bag off of the table, swinging it onto my shoulder.

"Where are you going?" All of a sudden, Tori was at my side, her hand gripping my elbow. I gritted my teeth, trying to pull myself out of her grasp.

"Let me go."

"Why are you leaving?" she loosened her grip, but didn't let go completely.

"Because I want to." I wrenched myself from her, and started to walk away. She pounced, grabbing my wrist. I could feel her fingernails through my jacket.

"But we have to work on this! Come on Jade, I'm sorry for whatever I said, just please don't leave!

I paused, uncertainty filling my heart. I was being pretty stupid. It was just a joke, and honestly, it's Vega. She's innocent as all fuck. There's no way that she would have meant it the way I took it.

"Okay." I turned around, setting my bag back down on the counter. "I'll stay. But let's just work, alright? I don't feel like staying here longer than I need to."

A smile spread across Tori's face, and if I didn't know better, I would have said that she was actually quite pleased with herself.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N:

Read, Review, Enjoy.

-Flame

* * *

I have gone to school every day in one of two ways. Either I drive myself, walk in alone, and go to class alone, or I pick up Beck, walk in with Beck, and go to class with Beck.

I guess that's why no one looked surprised when we came into the school, hands clasped between us. In a way, that made me angry. We had broken up; people should be commenting on how we were together again. But, they didn't, just like I knew they wouldn't.

Beck's hand was warm in mine, the rough skin of his palm rubbing against my skin. I liked it. He didn't have soft, feminine hands. They were the hands of someone who worked hard; someone who wasn't afraid to get his hands dirty.

Tori was waiting by my locker again that day, which I found fairly irritating. Second day in a row.

"What do you want, Vega?" I asked, a hard edge in my voice. I felt Beck's hand grip mine a bit harder, warning me, telling me to calm down.

Tori's eyes glanced down at our interlocked hands, then back up at my face. "Just wanted to know if you're coming over again today. We have to get our play done, and I'd like some help with it."

I pulled my hand out of Beck's, and started to twist the dial on my locker. "We'll see."

"Come on, you've got to give me an actual answer, Jade!" Tori replied, insistent.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, and turned my head, seeing Beck. He leaned down, lips tickling my ear.

"I'm going to go," he whispered. "See you later."

A kiss, then he turned, walking away from us. I watched him go, waiting a few long moments before turning my attention back to the irate Vega.

"I'll be at your house at seven." I shut the locker, shoving a textbook into my bag. "I'll bring dinner."

She looked at me for a moment, her gaze steady. "Do I get a say as to what we eat?"

I just looked at her and laughed, walking away.

* * *

I slammed the heel of my palm against the door, ignoring the doorbell to my right.

"I'm coming!" came a call from within the house. I rolled my eyes, continuing to pound on the door until it opened, the bewildered and irritated face of Tori Vega glaring at me.

"You are just so…" she began, before shaking her head, turning around. "Never mind. Did you bring food?"

I held up the plastic bags in my hand, waiting for her to turn around. She did, eyes widening when she saw the logo on the sides.

"Nozu? Nozu does take out now?" she asked, starting to walk up her stairs. I followed, letting her lead me to her room.

"Not usually." I pulled her door shut behind us. "But they make an exception for me."

"But Mrs. Lee hates you." Tori sat down on the floor in front of her bed, throwing down a pillow next to her, motioning for me to sit. I did, folding my legs beneath me crisscross style.

I opened the bags, setting a container of noodles and chicken in front of her. "Yeah, she does. But I have my ways."

"But…"

"Tori, just shut up and eat your lo mein."

She glanced over at me, a hurt look in her eyes. I ignored it, and opened up my own container. I grabbed chopsticks from the bag, holding out a pair to her. She took it, finally looking away from me and back to the food.

The only thing that was heard for the next few minutes was the sound of chewing, intermixed with the occasional slurp of a noodle.

It took those few moments of silence to drive Tori insane. "Okay. I'm not sure how you want to do this play. Are we going with the husband and wife idea, or…?"

"No." I swallowed, absently wiping my mouth with my arm. "We've already done that, remember? I don't feel like being Nancy again."

"Yeah, well, being Walter was no fun either," she retorted. "So, if we're not resurrecting the Swains, what _are_ we going to do?"

"Why are you asking me? Do you expect me to come up with everything?"

She shot me a look. "You've barely come up with anything at all."

"Yeah, well, neither have you." I pushed my Chinese food container aside, and reached inside the bags, pulling out two fortune cookies. I tossed one at her, grinning as it bounced off of her chest, surprise lighting up her face.

"Hey!" she exclaimed, one hand reaching for the cookie, the other gingerly pressing against her sternum. "That wasn't very nice!"

"Do you know me at all, Vega?" I rolled my eyes, tearing the plastic off of the fortune cookie. "Now come on, open up your cookie."

I discarded the plastic, tossing it onto the floor. I saw Tori glance over disapprovingly, but she didn't say anything. Instead, she took off her own plastic, placing it inside her empty food container.

"Okay, now, on the count of three." I held the cookie in my hands. She mimicked me, fingers wrapped around the ends. "One….two…three!"

With a crack, the cookie broke in half, the slip of paper poking through the hard shell. I pulled it out of the cookie, and let the halves fall into my lap.

I glanced over at Tori to find her with half of her cookie hanging out of her mouth, and her fortune held in her hand.

"Well, what's it say?" I asked, reaching for her fortune. She lifted her arm, holding it out of my grasp, swallowing the cookie so she could speak.

"Hey! Deal with your own fortune, and I'll deal with mine!" she waited for me to sit back out of reach before bringing her arm back down. I watched her read her fortune, noting how her cheeks turned the faintest shade of pink as she did so.

"Well? What does it say?"

She shook her head. "Read yours first."

"Vega…"

"Jade, just read it."

I sighed, and looked down at my fortune.

Listen to your heart, and all will be well.

"Lame." I held it out to her, shaking it. "Switch."

We exchanged fortunes, our fingers brushing against each other as we took the other's paper.

I looked down at the slip that Tori had handed me, and immediately was upset.

Listen to your heart, and all will be well.

"What the fuck? It's the same damn fortune!" I exclaimed angrily. I turned my head, looking at Tori. She looked just as confused as I was. "Seriously, what the hell?"

"Guess we just got lucky?" she handed me back my fortune, holding out her hand for me to put hers in. I did, watching as her fingers closed around it.

"Lucky?" I laughed, stuffing the fortune into my jeans pocket. "Sure. Now, come on, let's get to work."

* * *

We spent the next few hours spouting off ideas for a short play, but all of them sucked. The one that took the cake, though, was Vega's suggestion that we make a script about clowns who could only frown. I'm still not sure if she was joking or not.

I left after realizing we were getting nowhere. Tori had been a bit upset, but I told her that there was no point staying if we couldn't think of an idea, and she eventually agreed that it might be better if we came together with a list of ideas, and go from there.

Instead of driving home, though, I drove to Beck's house, parking next to the RV in the driveway. An hour later, we were tangled around each other, his head on my chest, snoring softly.

But for some reason, for the first time that I could remember, the feeling of him against my body didn't make me happy, or satisfied.

It just made me feel numb.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N:

Read, Review, Enjoy.

-Flame

* * *

I'm not sure when I first thought of Tori in a way that didn't cause irritation to go flooding through my body. It must have been before all of this started, but I don't think it really mattered to me until the day that we actually started working on the play.

Not that we weren't working on it before, or anything, but we hadn't really done much until a week or so after the project was assigned. It took us a while before we could settle on a plot we both could deal with: a murder mystery with Tori as the murderer and myself as the attractive, yet oh so intelligent, police detective.

It was a Friday, and we were at her house, sitting on her bed, her laptop on my lap as we attempted to write the script.

"Okay, so after you try to stab me, I'll hit you with the chair." I typed the stage directions quickly, fingers flying across the keys. "And then…"

"And then I'll fall to the ground, cursing at you while you draw your gun. Then….we fade to black?"

I pondered that for a moment, pausing my typing. "Don't you think that'll be a little stereotypical? You know, the hero triumphing over the villain, but leaving the question of whether or not the villain lives up in the air?"

"Maybe, but do you have any better ideas?" she asked, scratching her head idly.

"Well, I had an idea, sort of, but I don't see how we would be able to do it in a play…." I leaned against the headboard, sighing in irritation. "This would be so much easier if it was a movie."

A pause, then Tori spoke. "Well….why can't it be a movie?"

I turned my head, looking at her. "Huh?"

"Why can't it be a movie? Sikowitz never said that it couldn't be, and honestly, I think it could be so much more fun to film this instead…" she shrugged. "It's up to you, but…"

I shook my head, a small smile tugging at my lips. "No, that's actually a really good idea! That means we can use more blood, and better effects, and you can actually look like you're stabbing someone instead of just looking like you're poking them with a stick!" I could feel the excitement growing, and couldn't help but letting my smile grow a bit wider. "Yes, I think this could work!"

I noticed Tori was just watching me, a smile on her face. After a moment, it began to annoy me, so I wiped the grin from my face, and glared at her. "What?"

"I don't think I've ever seen you this happy without causing me physical or emotional pain." She replied, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Well…." I felt my cheeks start to burn, and turned my head away. "Whatever. Let's figure out how we're going to do this, okay?"

I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned back towards her, tense. She laughed when she saw me. "Are you blushing? My god, Jade West is blushing!"

I pushed her hand off of me. "Oh, shut up Vega."

"This is so great." Her grin just kept growing. Just how big could this girl's smile get? People shouldn't be able to grin like that. It isn't natural. "This is just so great."

"Vega, if you do not shut up, I will push you off this bed and use my scissors to destroy your stupid Cuddle-Me Kate doll." I pulled my scissors from my waistband just to prove my point, eyeing her doll with as much malice as I could muster.

She shrunk back, the smile disappearing from her face. Her hand reached out, grabbing the doll, hugging it to her chest. "No! And her name is Cuddle-Me Cathy, not Kate!"

I rolled my eyes, tucking the scissors back into my waistband. "Fine. Now stop hugging your doll and get your focus back onto what we're supposed to be doing."

She started to set the doll back down on her pillow when she froze, staring at me. "Do you promise not to hurt Cathy?"

"Vega…"

Her lip drooped down a bit, eyes growing wide. "Pweeeease?"

I just shook my head at her feeble attempt at a puppy dog pout. "If I promise, will you stop making yourself look like an idiot?"

She nodded in reply. I sighed heavily, holding my hands in front of me. "I promise not to disembowel your doll."

"Good. Thank you." The pout disappeared. "Now, what do we do next?"

I leaned back again, thinking. "Well, I don't know about you, but I think our script needs a bit of work now that we're going to be filming it…"

"I agree. We can add more stage directions and stuff now." She replied, reaching over for the laptop. Her fingers brushed against the back of my hand as she did so, and for some reason, both of us just paused, skin still touching skin.

Then her hand was off my mine, jerked back with such force that it was almost if she had been burned.

Nervous laughter came from Tori, breaking the silence. "Uh…here, I'll just…" she started to reach for the laptop again, but stopped, her hand instead reaching up, scratching her head.

I just sat there for a moment, utterly confused by what had just happened. It was only when she began to try again that I shook my head, bringing myself out of my stupor, and handed the laptop to her, being careful to not touch her.

She took the laptop away from me, her eyes darting to my face whenever she thought I wasn't looking. But, I was, and I could see the fear that shone in her gaze.

I would have made a joke about it, or at least an insult, but I couldn't make myself say anything. Truth was, I was speechless for one of the first times in my life.

And I didn't like it.

* * *

It took us some time, but we finally were able to tighten up our script. We added a bunch of more stage directions and prop ideas, along with some more dialogue. I was actually fairly impressed with what we came up with. Tori impressed me, too. For someone who hates horror movies, she could really come up with some twisted stuff.

It was late by the time I left her place, late enough that the sun had disappeared, and the moon hung high in the sky. I was fine with that. I prefer to drive at night.

They say that distracted driving is more dangerous than texting while driving, or drunk driving, but I don't think that's true. I mean, I spent the entirety of my drive home with my thoughts consumed by confusion and uncertainty, and I didn't crash or anything.

It was only a ten minute drive from Tori's house to my own, but it felt more like an hour. My mind kept going back to when she touched my hand.

It obviously hadn't been the first time we had touched each other. We've hugged, and even held hands during performances, but this time was different. And I didn't know why, but it was obvious that she thought it was different as well, judging by how she reacted.

I pulled into my driveway, sitting there for a moment before I twisted the key out of the ignition, listening as the hum of the motor faded off. And then I just sat there for a few more minutes, staring up at my house. No lights were on, and my mother's car wasn't in the driveway. Big surprise.

I finally opened my car door, stepping out onto the driveway. I walked to the front door, pulling my key out of my pocket. I unlocked the door, pushing it open, stepping into the dark and empty house.

I reached to my left, flicking the light switch. I couldn't help but wince as the bright light illuminated the hallway, my eyes squinting as they accustomed themselves to the brightness.

I opened up the closet to my right and kicked off my shoes into it. The contents of the closet consisted of my shoes, and my jackets. Mother kept her belongings elsewhere.

I pulled the door back shut, then made my way to the kitchen.

My mother may not have come home very often, but she still kept a well-stocked liquor cabinet. I suppose it allowed her to look all fancy for the clients she brought home every now and then. It was high-end liquor, too. Not that cheap shit you can buy at any old liquor store. No, the stuff my mother kept stocked was the finest alcohol that our budget could buy. And our budget wasn't exactly small.

I opened up the cabinet, pulling out a bottle of rum with a name that I couldn't pronounce, and set it on the counter. Next came the can of Coke I pulled out of the fridge and poured into a tall glass. It was too full, so I tipped it over the sink, pouring out about a fourth of what I had put in. Then I unscrewed the top of the bottle of rum, and poured a generous amount into the glass of Coke. I swirled the glass around a bit, mixing the two liquids together. I took a sip, decided that it needed a bit more rum, added some, then put the bottle away.

The glass was cold in my hand as I started to climb the stairs that led to the upper floor, which was mostly occupied by my bedroom and bathroom. I took another sip as I stepped off the top stair, and walked to my bedroom.

I figured that Mother wouldn't be home any time soon, but I closed my door behind me anyway.

My bed was my destination, and I lay down on it as soon as I was able, never letting go of the glass in my hand. I took another swallow, this time just drinking and drinking until half of it was gone.

It occurred to me a moment later that I probably should have eaten something before drinking, but then it also occurred to me that I really didn't care.

My pocket started to vibrate, which confused me for a moment before I realized that it was just my phone. I pulled it out of my pocket using my free hand, and clicked it on without checking the caller ID first.

"Yeah?" I said, perhaps a bit less friendly than I had meant.

A pause, then a reply. "Hey you." Beck. Of course it was Beck. Who else would it have been? "Haven't seen you today…"

"Yeah, well, my life doesn't exactly revolve around you, does it?" I replied. The bitterness in my voice surprised me, and by the silence that came in reply confirmed that it had surprised Beck, too.

"Sorry, I'm just…" I stopped myself, unsure of what I had been about to say. "What did you want?"

"I just wanted to check up on you," came his reply. I could tell that I had upset him.

"I've been busy with Vega. You know, doing that stupid project for Sikowitz."

"Yeah, that's what I've been doing with Sinjin…which reminds me, you still owe me for that." He was joking, I think, but I wasn't completely sure.

"I don't owe you shit."

"No, I suppose you don't…" he sighed. "Well, I guess I'll go now. Have a good night."

"Wait!" I exclaimed, a bit louder than intended. "Wait."

"What?" he asked, confused.

I glanced at my alarm clock, checking the time. It wasn't too horribly late. "Come over."

Silence for a moment. "Okay. I'll be over in a few."

I hung up without replying, and set my phone on the nightstand next to my bed.

I quickly downed the rest of my drink, not bothering to take a breath as I swallowed. The alcohol in the drink burned my throat as it went down, not really being helped much by the acidity of the Coke. It just made me smile.

When the glass was empty, I set it next to my phone, and laid my head down on my pillow, waiting.

* * *

It didn't take long for Beck to arrive. He didn't live that horribly far from me, and if I knew him, the prospect of a booty call had caused him to drive faster than was legally allowed.

I heard the car pull into the driveway, saw the headlights illuminate the front of the house and shine through my window, then darkness as they turned off. A moment later, a car door slammed shut, and then, a few moments later, the opening and shutting of my front door.

"Jade?" I heard him call out, his voice echoing throughout the house.

"Upstairs!"

The creak of the stairs, then my door handle began to turn, the door opening to reveal a grinning Beck.

"I'm here," he greeted, stepping inside my room. I motioned for him to close the door behind him, which he did, before walking over to the side of my bed.

"Thanks for coming." I replied, the unfamiliarity of thanking someone confusing me for a moment. Beck's eyebrows raised for a moment, but he didn't say anything. I lifted my hand and patted the empty side of the bed. He sat, swinging his legs onto the comforter, then lay his head next to mine.

"What can I do for you?" he asked, turning onto his side so he was facing me. I could feel his hand trail down my arm, his fingers pausing on top of the back of my hand. I stiffened, muscles tense. His skin was rough, so unlike the softness of Tori's. There was no awkwardness with his touch, but for some reason, as his hand touched mine, I felt uncomfortable.

"Love me." I whispered after a moment, pulling my hand out from underneath his. If he noticed my apprehension, he didn't say anything about it.

His lips turned up in his signature smile. "Can do."

He leaned in to kiss me, then paused, pulling his head back. "I smell alcohol. Have you been drinking?"

"Does it matter?" I reached out, grabbing the front of his shirt, pulling him towards me. He glanced down at my hands, then back to my face. A shake of his head followed, which caused me to release a small sigh of relief.

Then he was kissing me, soft at first, but growing rougher as I tugged him closer, forcing my hands underneath his shirt. I let my hands wander over his abdomen, feeling the hard muscles beneath his skin. Perfect washboard abs, something that had attracted me to him in the first place. But now they just felt wrong.

I suddenly felt a strong urge to push him off of me, to force him to stop. I tried to push those urges aside, tried to focus on him. But I must have been acting weird, because he did stop.

He stared at me, confused. "Are you okay, Jade?"

I forced myself to nod. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little drunk."

"Do you…do you want me to stop?" he asked, eyes shining with concern.

I shook my head, even though on the inside, I was screaming yes. "No."

He watched me for another moment, then leaned in to kiss me again. I let him, this time kissing him back.

Minutes later, we were both naked and he was inside me. Thankfully, he had had the foresight to bring along a condom, because I hadn't even thought about it before he had pulled it onto himself.

Our dance was well rehearsed, and I just played my part, moaning at the right times, speaking his name at others. Normally, I would have been lost in the moment, focusing on the growing sense of pleasure that flooded through me. But this time, even as the pleasure rose, all I could think about was how I wished it wasn't him.

How I wished it was Tori.

That thought slammed into me at the same time as the orgasm did, and I couldn't stop myself from crying out, though whether it was in satisfaction or fear, I couldn't tell.

He shuddered, arms quivering as his own orgasm hit him, his head falling forward, panting. His hair hung over his face, damp with sweat.

And then it was over, and he was pulling out of me, falling onto his back on the space next to where I lay.

I felt his arms wrap around me, and I turned on my side so I didn't have to face him. A moment later, the comforter was being pulled over me, covering up the nakedness. I could still feel it though. I was exposed, and I didn't like it. But, I knew it wouldn't matter if I was clothed or not.

"I love you." He whispered in my ear, before softly kissing my temple.

I felt my heart thud against my chest as I heard him, the realization of what I had thought earlier finally really hitting home.

I wanted Tori. I wanted Tori Vega in ways that I shouldn't ever want Tori Vega. I wanted to slam her against a wall and fuck her senseless. I wanted to kiss her until all remnants of Beck's touch were gone. I wanted her hands to touch me everywhere, and I wanted my hands to do the same to her.

I wanted Tori Vega, and that scared the everloving fuck out of me.

"I love you, too," was my reply. I could hear him sigh in satisfaction, and then all was silent, save for the thud of my racing heart.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N:

Read, _Review_, Enjoy.

-Flame

* * *

"Babe?"

I could feel his touch, could feel his hot breath against my ear. I ignored him, pretending to still be asleep.

"Babe?" he was softly shaking my shoulder now, hard enough that I couldn't ignore it any longer.

"What." I muttered, refusing to open my eyes. I felt his hand leave my body.

"It's morning. I have to go." He replied, his tone a bit hurt. I wanted to care about that, but I just couldn't bring myself to.

"Okay." Was my own reply, short, sweet, to the point.

A press of lips against the top of my head. "I love you."

His words burned me, reminding me of what I was desperately trying to forget. I didn't respond to them this time, pretending that I had fallen back asleep.

I heard him sigh, and roll off of the bed. The rustle of clothing being picked up, and then, after a few moments, the thud of my door shutting.

A minute later, I heard his car start, the squeal of tires as he pulled out of my driveway. I opened my eyes when the roar of the engine was out of my range of hearing.

Fuck.

Just….fuck.

I had lain awake for the majority of the night, trying to convince myself that the thoughts that I had had were just fantasy; my imagination going wild. I had been drunk. There's no way I would think those thoughts sober. There was just no way.

I sat up, groaning as pain pounded against my skull. Hangovers. They were the worst.

I forced myself to my feet, getting off of my bed. I grabbed my nightstand with my hand, steadying myself as tremors went through my body.

My clothes were discarded on the floor, and as much as I didn't want to, I bent down, picking them up, pulling them back onto my body. Every movement sent throbs of pain through my head. That was good, though. Maybe if I was in enough agony, then maybe I would forget about everything else for a little while.

I went and used the bathroom, scrubbing my teeth, taking ibuprofen, eventually stepping into the shower. I turned the water on so that it was steaming hot; almost too hot to stand, but not quite. It hurt, but the pain was good. Distracting.

I stood underneath the spray, letting the heat roll down onto me. The ache in my head gave way to the burn of the water. I watched as my skin quickly turned from a pale white to a shining red. I closed my eyes then, just letting the water wash over me. But, while it distracted me for a few moments, the thoughts still came back.

Tori Vega. Someone that I had spent months denying friendship. Someone that I had tormented mercilessly for just as long.

Someone who had tried to be my friend, even when I had been so horrible to her. Someone with the voice of an angel.

Someone with lightly bronzed skin that shined when the light hit it, with deep, chocolate-colored eyes that you could just get lost in.

Fuck.

My eyes opened, and I made myself finish up my shower. Shampoo, conditioner, soap, then I was done, and the water was off, and I was still as dirty as I felt when I had first stepped in.

And then I dressed, grabbed my glass of the nightstand where I had left it, went downstairs, filled it with whatever liquor I grabbed out of the cabinet, went back upstairs, and drank it all, ignoring the burning sensation in my throat as I swallowed.

If I was drunk, then it would be okay. I would have something to blame.

And if the fuzzy feeling in my head was any indication, I was going to be pretty damn drunk.

I lay down on my bed, closing my eyes. This time, I couldn't stop the thoughts from slamming into me.

_Soft touch of lips pressed against mine, hands roaming over skin, hair tickling my face. The sensation of her touch going lower and lower, and then_

_Oh god._

_Ecstasy. Pure, utter pleasure, unlike anything I've ever felt before._

"Tori!" I cried out, back arched, feeling the release as it hit, biting my lip as I rode it back down.

And then it was over, and I was left with the realization that my hand was still curled up inside of me, and that I had just done what I had done.

I pulled my hand out quickly, wiping it furiously against the sheets. No. No. Jesusfuckingchristno.

It was the alcohol. It was always just the alcohol. It was the alcohol that made me think that way, that made me do what I did, and a few minutes later, it was the alcohol that lulled me to sleep.

* * *

It was the ringing of my phone that forced me out of my slumber.

I reached over to my nightstand, grabbing my cell, clicking it on without opening my eyes. "What do you want?"

"Jade?"

My eyes flew open at the sound of her voice.

"Are you there?"

I realized that I hadn't responded, and forced myself to swallow hard, and open my mouth. "What do you want, Vega?"

A momentary pause. "Well, you weren't here, and I just wanted to make sure that you were okay. Beck said that you seemed fine last night, so…." A small sigh. "I just wanted to make sure, okay?"

Fuck. It had been a school day, hadn't it?

"I'm fine, Vega," was my reply, though I felt everything but.

Another pause. "Okay…well, do you want to work on rehearsing our film? We only have another week to film it, and…"

I cut her off. "I'm not sure that would be the best idea." Why did I say that? Why didn't I just say no, and leave it at that?

"What do you mean? Are you sick?" I could hear the worriedness in her voice.

"No, I just…" I shook my head, gripping the phone tighter. "I just…dammit."

"Jade, are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine!" I snapped. Then the guilt hit me, and I softened my tone. "Just….yeah, let's work on rehearsing. Let's try to get this thing done."

"Okay….do you want to come over here?"

I started to say yes, then saw the empty glass sitting next to me, and realized that I still felt pretty fuzzy. There was no way that I would be able to drive. "Uh….no. No, why don't you come over here?"

"Really?" The surprise was evident in her voice, and I couldn't really blame her. I never invited her over before. I never invited anyone over, really. "Yeah, yeah, that's fine! When can I come over?"

"How about in half an hour?"

"Sure, that's fine! I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Yeah." I hung up without another word, needing to stop talking before I said anything else. I didn't trust my mouth.

Half an hour. Half an hour to change sheets, wash my hands, brush my teeth, and generally just make it seem like I hadn't spent my morning diddling myself.

I stripped my bed, exchanging one set of dark purple sheets for another set. I stuffed the soiled ones in my hamper, burying them underneath dirty clothes. I changed clothes once more, putting the dirty ones with the sheets. Then it was back to the bathroom. I pumped soap onto my hands, scrubbing and scrubbing until I was satisfied that any remnants of my earlier activity had been washed away. I brushed my teeth again, trying to cover up the smell of liquor with the scent of mint. I wasn't satisfied with the result, though, and thus searched my room for a stick of gum, eventually finding one. I popped it in my mouth, chewing furiously. The mint would cover up the smell, at least.

And then I could hear a car pull into my driveway, and every fear that I had had in the past day came rushing back.

The doorbell rang. I made my way downstairs, making sure to drop off the glass in the sink before I went to the door.

I pulled the door open, coming face to face with Tori, whose hand was stretched to her left, about to press the doorbell again.

"Hey." I moved out of the doorway, letting her walk in. I shut the door behind her.

"Hey…" she replied, head turning every which way. "Nice house."

"Thanks."

"So….where do you want to work on this?" she asked, shaking the scripts she held in her hand.

I motioned towards the stairs. "Upstairs, in my room." I started to walk in that direction, then stopped. "Do you want something to drink?"

She turned, looking at me with those beautiful chocolate eyes. I felt my heart skip a beat. "Sure..."

"Will water do?" I looked away from her, and walked to my fridge, opening it, pulling two bottles out of it.

"Yeah, that's fine."

I closed the fridge, walking back to her, handing her a bottle. "Here. Now, come on."

I led her up the stairs, and into my room. I heard a sharp intake of breath as we entered, and I turned to her out of curiosity.

"What?"

She shook her head, turning around in a circle slowly. "Your room….it's just…normal."

I stared at her, eyebrows raised. "What."

"I was expecting…I don't know, animal heads, or bones, or something. Not posters and paintings."

I shook my head, trying very, very hard not to roll my eyes. "Believe it or not, Vega, I'm not all that creepy."

"If you say so." She looked at me, sticking her tongue out. I laughed, unable to keep myself from doing so. She was just so….Tori. I didn't have another word for it.

"Are you done insinuating that I'm a serial killer in training?" I asked, a small smile on my face so she knew I was joking. She nodded. "Good. Now, let's get down to business."

Tori held out a script to me. I took it, noticing how all of my lines were already highlighted. I flipped through it, fairly impressed by how organized it was.

"I figured we could start from the beginning, and go from there." She said, watching me, eyes never leaving mine. I turned away, refusing to meet her gaze.

"That's fine." I turned back to the first page, about to start when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I froze, muscles tensing.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

She was touching me. Hands roaming, lips leaving soft kisses on my skin.

I closed my eyes tightly, then opened them, forcing that image away. "I'm fine, Vega." The same lie. I couldn't focus on anything but her hand, and the fact that the fingers of her other hand were underneath my chin, tilting it up so I was looking at her.

"You don't look fine." She studied my face, eyes shining with worry. "Your eyes are red, and your pupils are huge. You've been shaky the entire time I've been here, and honestly, you don't seem too steady on your feet right now."

"So?" I pulled away from her, turning away. A hand closed around my wrist, preventing me from going farther. I felt anger rise. Good. Anger I could deal with.

"So, I know when somebody's drunk, Jade, and you've obviously been drinking."

"Oh, fuck you." I turned around to face her. "Just, fuck you, okay?"

Tori let go of my wrist, her arm falling to her side. "Jade, what is going on?"

"Nothing." My reply was too fast. Shit. I sat down on my bed. "How did you know?"

"Trina. She's been drinking for years." A moment of silence. "You also left the bottle on the counter."

"Fuck." I held my head in my hands, sighing. "Look, can we just rehearse, and forget about this? Please?"

I felt the bed jostle as she sat next to me. Her hand rested on my thigh, sending shivers running through me. "Is this about what happened yesterday?"

"What?" I opened my eyes, glancing over at her. She wasn't looking at me. Her eyes stared down at the floor.

"Believe it or not, Jade, I'm not oblivious. I know that you felt it too."

I laughed, nervous. "I don't know what you're talking about, Vega."

She didn't respond, instead pulling her hand off of me, standing up. "Let's rehearse." She picked up her script. I hesitated, then did the same, standing up, walking so I was in front of her.

I cleared my throat, then began to read. "Tell me where you hid the bodies, and you can get a sentence that won't result in your execution."

"I'm not telling you anything." Tori replied, the anger of her character reflected in her voice. "Go to hell!"

I circled around her slowly. "Ms. Harrison, we know that you murdered your husband. We know you murdered his mistress. You're not getting out of this."

"You don't know anything." She glared at me when I made the full circle. "You're lying."

"You know that I'm not." I leaned in closer, eyes staring into hers. If I didn't know any better, I would have said that the anger I saw staring back at me was real, and not just a reflection of her character. "If you don't tell me, I will make your life miserable, Ms. Harrison."

"You already have." Came her reply. I paused, glancing down at my script. That wasn't something we had written. I debated saying something about it, but decided to let it go. She seemed to notice my surprise, since she moved on rather quickly. "Let me go. You have no reason to hold me here."

I gestured towards an imaginary table. "Look here! There are photographs that have you at the scene, with a knife in your hand, and blood splattered all over your clothes! There's your clothes right there, covered in the blood of your husband and his mistress! What more of a reason do we need?"

She grinned, a sick smile that actually could be found rather concerning. "Well, a body might help."

I turned around, hands grabbing her shoulders. I shoved her against the wall, being careful not to push too hard. I didn't want to hurt her. I couldn't help but notice her flinch, or how her breath came out in a gasp. "You filthy little…" I bent my head, gripping my fingers a little tighter. "You're a monster."

"Am I?" I felt her grab my arms, and I let her turn me quickly, feeling my back slam against the wall in her place. I pretended to struggle, feigning resistance. Tori's eyes quickly glanced down at my body, almost too quick for me to notice, before looking into my eyes. "Forgive me if I disagree."

The script fell from my hand. I didn't need it, and it was taking up too much room. Tori must have discarded hers earlier, since she wasn't holding it anymore. "Release me!"

"No!" she pushed harder, fingernails pressing into my skin. I winced, not expecting her to actually hurt me. She saw my reaction, I'm sure of it, but didn't let up.

"I said….release me!" I pushed back against her, kicking up, lightly tapping my foot against her knee. She buckled, but refused to let go. That wasn't in the script. She was supposed to let go. Why wasn't she letting go?

"No." Tori looked up at me, straightening. She pushed me back against the wall, pinning my arms above my head. I stared at her, utterly confused. "No, I'm not going to let go."

"Uhm…Tori…this isn't in the script…" I managed to say.

"I know." She looked at me, her gaze steady. "You're going to tell me what's wrong, and then I'll let you go."

"Vega, this isn't funny." I tried to force my way out of her grasp, but she pressed harder, using her body to force my back up against the wall. For such a small girl, she was really strong. I could have tried a bit harder, maybe, but what was the point?

"I'm not trying to be funny. Now, tell me why you stayed home and got drunk. Tell me why you've been acting so weird. Tell me!"

"I don't have to tell you anything, Vega." I muttered. My arms were beginning to ache, and the fuzziness in my head just seemed to be getting worse. I was a functional drunk, but I was drunk all the same.

"No, you don't. But, you're going to."

"Or what?"

Tori bent her head. "I don't know. I just…" she sighed, letting go of me. "I'm confused, Jade, and I just want answers."

"Well, maybe I don't have those answers for you, Vega. Ever think about that?" I let my arms fall to my side, muscles aching. Tori didn't respond, so I continued. "Look, Tori, can we just…"

"No." she bent down, picking up her script. "No, we can't. Either you actually give me a straight answer, with no bullshit, or I'm leaving." She looked at me. "It's up to you."

My silence gave her my answer. She sighed, walking to my door. "I'll see you later, Jade."

I wanted to stop her. I really did. I wanted to grab her arm, throw her onto my bed, and kiss her, or fuck her, or I don't even know. I just wanted to stop her from leaving. But, I didn't, and I just stood there as she shook her head, turned around, and walked away.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N:

Read, Review, Enjoy.

-Flame

* * *

A few days went by, each one increasingly longer than the last. They drug on without end. Not that I cared. I didn't care about anything at that point. Why should I?

I kept to myself, not leaving my room for any reason other than getting food and using the bathroom. Beck called a few times, but I didn't answer. After the tenth time, I finally texted him and told him I was sick. Which really wasn't overly far from the truth. I was sick. Just not in the way he thought I was.

I was sick. Sick for wanting Tori. Sick for even entertaining the notion. Sick for so many reasons, and none of them good.

The weekend lasted forever, and yet, wasn't nearly long enough. Monday came, and I had to get out of my room and go to school. I was already probably going to get in trouble for skipping Friday. I didn't need a detention or suspension on top of all the other bullshit.

It was because of that that I found myself in my car, driving to Hollywood Arts, and praying that once I got there, I would be able to stay sane long enough to get through the day.

It took some time to arrive in the HA parking lot. I had gotten stuck at every traffic light; stuck behind every bus picking up kids. It was like the universe was trying its best to make sure that I didn't get there. But, somehow, I did, with ten minutes to spare.

I pulled into my parking space, shifting the gears into park. I turned the car off, pulling the key out of the ignition. Then I just sat there, watching as other students arrived and went into the building.

I must have really spaced out for a bit, because I never saw him come up to the car. It wasn't until he rapped on my window that I noticed he was there.

I opened my car door, stepping out onto the macadam. "Hey, Beck."

His smile, one of the things that had first attracted me to him, was on his lips as he replied. "Hey babe. Feeling better?"

"I guess so." I leaned into my car, grabbing my bag before shutting the door.

He wrapped an arm around my shoulders. That gesture used to make me feel wanted; made me feel like I was loved. Now it just made me depressed. I shrugged his arm off, stepping away from him.

The smile disappeared from his face, turning into a frown. "Is something wrong?"

I shook my head, trying to act normal. "No, just…don't want to get you sick, that's all." I forced myself to cough, trying to sound as contagious as possible.

He grimaced, and nodded. "Yeah, okay then."

I began to walk towards the entrance to the school, and he followed. We pushed through the door, said goodbye, and went our separate ways. Our classes were different for first period, something that used to really piss me off, but now it was just a relief.

I went to my locker, twisting the dial as quickly as possible, then tried to open it. It wouldn't open. I gritted my teeth, and tried again. Nothing.

"Come on!" I whispered, trying to calm down and go slower. First number, second, third. 13, 35, 17. It opened that time, the lock falling into my hand.

"Yes!"

"What are you so happy about, Jade?" I heard a sing-songy voice ask. I turned my head, seeing the all-too bubbly Cat standing next to me.

"Uh, nothing, Cat. Just…something stupid." I opened the locker door, grabbing my textbook out of it.

"Oh! Okay then!" Cat moved to my other side, hopping on her foot, switching sides randomly. "Hey, have you seen Tori?"

That caught my attention. "Vega?"

"Yeah, she hasn't texted me all weekend, and I haven't seen her yet today…and I figured you're her project partner, so maybe you know where she is…"

I shook my head. "No, I have no idea." I shut my locker, turning around and leaning against the metal. "Maybe she's sick or something." Yeah. Maybe she was sick just like me.

"Maybe!" Cat skipped off, waving over her shoulder. "See you later, Jade!"

I watched her go, a wave of worriedness washing over me. Tori never skipped school. She also never ignored texts. Never. Not even that time when I texted her and told her that her sister had fallen into a quarry and couldn't get out. She had texted me back even then, though it was only to tell me that Trina was fine and sitting next to her.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone. I stared at the screen for a few moments, hesitating before I found her name in my contacts and started to type a message.

Where are you? I clicked send, and slipped the phone back into my pocket. The bell had rung, signaling that classes were about to begin.

I left my locker, and made my way to class, the phone heavy in my pocket, and uncertainty heavy in my chest.

* * *

Lunchtime, and I still hadn't heard back from Tori.

I sat down at a table in the Asphalt Café without bothering to get any food. I was anything but hungry.

Beck was the first to arrive, a tray of questionable meat and vegetables in his hands. He set it down, sliding onto the seat beside me. "Aren't you eating anything, babe?"

I shook my head. "No."

"Why not?" he stabbed a piece of meat with his fork, popping it into his mouth.

"Because that looks vile." I stood up, picking my bag up off of the seat. "I'm going to head out. Tell Sikowitz that I'm not feeling well."

"Wait!" I felt his hand grab my wrist, and stopped, looking back. "Where are you going?"

I pulled my arm away, and started to walk away. "Somewhere. Don't worry."

I heard him get up, and follow me, but I didn't stop walking. If I did, I wouldn't keep going. I would stay, and not go. And there was a part of me that wanted to stay; that wanted him to convince me to remain behind. And yet there was another part of me that wanted desperately to run.

"Jade, if there's something going on, please tell me!" I heard him say behind me. By then we were at my car, and I was trying to find my keys.

"Beck, I said you didn't have to worry." I replied, digging my keys out of my bag. I opened the door, and slid into the driver's seat.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean that I won't." He stopped me from closing the door, sticking his head around the metal.

I sighed, sinking into the seat. "Beck, please. Let me go."

He looked at me for a moment, then nodded, stepping back. His hand pushed the door shut. "Be careful. I love you."

I stuck the key in the ignition, and took a breath before looking back at him. "I love you too."

For the first time, it was a lie.

He waved me off, standing in the parking lot as I drove off, his frown apparent in my rearview mirror.

* * *

I don't know why I was driving to the Vega household, but I was, and if I drove any faster, I would probably lose control of the car, but I needed to get there, and get there quickly.

This was stupid. That thought kept going through my head at every possible second, and I could easily acknowledge that it was true. It was stupid. But I was known for doing stupid things, so what was adding one more going to do?

The Vega house was only a few minutes away from Hollywood Arts, so it didn't take me long to get there. A few turns, a few roads, and then there I was, pulling into the driveway with my heart slamming against my chest.

Then I was at the door, fist outstretched, about to slam on the door, when it opened up and I found myself face-to-face with the very girl I couldn't get out of my head.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, tone dry and emotionless.

I glanced at the ground, then back at her. "Can I come in?"

She eyed me up for a moment, then stepped away from the door, allowing me to come inside. I stepped inside, letting her close the door behind me.

"I'll ask again. What are you doing here?"

I couldn't help but flinch at the edge in her voice. "Cat said she hadn't heard from you. You didn't text me back either, so I came to see what's up."

Tori stared at me for a moment, then sighed, turning away. "Nothing's up, Jade. Go back to school." She began to walk away, but I followed. She made it up her stairs before turning around and glaring at me. "I told you to leave."

"And I'm not going." I reached the top of the steps, and stood in front of her. "We have shit we need to figure out, and I'm not leaving until we do. Because I can't keep doing this."

"Doing what?" she turned around, walking to her room. I followed her once more, closing the door to her room behind me as we walked inside.

"You know what."

She sat on her bed, and stared at me, a glint of anger in her eyes. "No, I don't know what, because you won't tell me!"

I gritted my teeth, and walked over to her. I placed my hands on either side of her body, leaning close, forcing her to lean back, her hair brushing against the comforter on her bed. "I don't think you really need me to tell you, Vega. I think you know exactly what is going on, because I think you're having the same issue."

She glared back at me, but instead of pure anger, there was something that flashed in her eyes that I didn't recognize. "I don't know what you're talking about, Jade."

"The fuck you don't." I remained where I was for another moment, then pushed off of her bed, standing in front of her. She straightened back up, and watched me. Just watched me. For some reason, that made me angrier than anything else had.

"Goddamn you, Vega." I muttered, hands balling into tightly clenched fists.

Tori's eyebrows shot up. "What?"

"I said, goddamn you. Damn you. You've done nothing but fuck with my head, and I'm sick of it!" My voice rose louder and louder without me even realizing it, rising to the point where I was almost shouting. "I'm sick of you always having to be fucking perfect, and I'm sick of you always being in my thoughts at every fucking moment of the day, and I'm sick of wanting you in ways that I've only wanted Beck, and I'm sick of just wanting to kiss you and forget about everyone else! I'm just fucking sick of it, okay?" I turned away from her, not being able to stand to look at her anymore. "Fuck."

I heard the bed creak, and heard the footsteps behind me, but I refused to acknowledge them. Then her hand was on my shoulder, and I was being turned around, and then the message from the fortune cookie I had eaten oh so many nights ago flashed in my mind

_Listen to your heart, and all will be well._

And then her lips were on mine, and she was kissing me with a hunger that I couldn't even begin to explain.

And it was just as fucking perfect as she was.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N:

Read, Review, Enjoy.

-Flame

* * *

Confession time.

I have kissed a lot of people in my day. Beck, Johnny Calls, Harry Trush, hell, I even kissed Andre one time a few years ago. Not just guys, either. I've been around. I've partied, and tongued a few girls a time or two.

None of them prepared me for the kissing ability of Tori Vega, though.

God, I can't even begin to describe just how perfect of a kisser she was. Forceful, hungry, yet sweet, with a softness that Beck just didn't have.

Beck tasted like coffee. Tori tasted like sugar, with a hint of spice that I couldn't place. And I love coffee, but this was just better, somehow.

And that scared me.

I wasn't supposed to like Tori. Hell, I wasn't supposed to like anyone other than Beck.

So why the fuck was I still kissing her?

I tore myself away from her, stumbling into the wall. "Fuck." I pressed my index and middle fingers to my lips, feeling the swollen heat that remained. My heart was racing, pounding against my chest in a pattern of thudding pain that made me gasp for breath. "Oh, fuck."

"Jade?" Tori's voice was barely above a whisper, hardly loud enough for me to hear. I didn't make indication that I heard her. I couldn't deal with it. Couldn't deal with her. Not after that. Not after she had just done that.

"Jade, you're scaring me." I could hear her move closer, the wood of her floor creaking underneath her footsteps.

Then her hand was on my shoulder, and her fingers were pulling my chin up, gently forcing me to look at her. "Are you okay?"

"Let go of me, Vega." I demanded, the familiar hard edge entering my voice. I thought better of it, then added, in a softer tone, "Please?"

Her eyes widened at my plea, and her hands fell to her side as she nodded. She moved out of my way as I made my way to her bed, slowly sitting down on top of the comforter, swinging my legs so my feet dangled off the end, lying down, staring at the ceiling. My head rested on a pillow

_ Her pillow_

and I could her weight rest on the other side of the bed, lying down next to me.

It was a long time before I spoke, and when I did, I tried desperately to choose my words carefully. "This is wrong."

Silence for a moment. I was expecting a gasp, or a response, or something but all I got was silence. I turned my head so I was looking at her, concerned when I saw her just staring up at the ceiling, arms crossed tight across her chest. I think she could sense my staring, because she finally spoke. "I know."

That was certainly not the reply I was expecting. It hit me in the chest, sinking into my heart, just adding to the ache that was already there. "You know?"

"Of course I do. It is wrong. You're dating Beck. I just helped you cheat on him." She laughed, the sound utterly without humor. "I'm a homewrecker."

That was also not the response I expected. "Wait, so you just kissed me, Jade West…a_ girl_, and you're focused on the fact that in doing so, you helped me cheat on my boyfriend?" I shook my head in awe. "That's just fucked up, Vega."

"Why?" She looked over at me. "I've never had a problem with liking girls. And I like you. Why should that bother me?"

"Well, because…." I paused, thinking it over. "Because I'm horrible to you? And…you've never given any indication that you were gay, and…."

"Neither have you. And yet, here we are."

That certainly shut me up for a moment. Just for a moment. "Vega, I…"

"No." she looked away from me for a moment, and sighed, her chest falling as the air escaped past her lips. "Jade, I really like you. I think that you like me, too." She looked over at me for confirmation. I nodded, and then she turned back away. "But, I can't do this. I can't do this to Beck. And I'm not sure how you're able to, either."

"I'm not." I reached my hand out tentatively, about to take her hand in mine, but hesitated and drew it back after another moment. "I feel horrible about doing this. So, so incredibly horrible. But, I feel worse if I don't."

"That doesn't..." she began, but I interrupted before she could go on.

"Vega, the other night, I was fucking Beck." I heard her take a sharp intake of breath, and couldn't help but smile. Good ole virgin Vega. I waited a moment before continuing, wiping the smile from my face. "I was fucking Beck, and I didn't want to, but I did because I thought that if I could do that, then maybe I could forget about you. But I couldn't. The entire time, I was wishing that it was you who was there. Not Beck. Not anyone else. You." I took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "And that scared me so much. It still does. I mean, for fuck's sake, we're not even friends!"

"We…we're not friends?" I heard her whisper next to me, and for the first time, I realized just how much such a simple statement could hurt someone. The hurt in her voice was controlled, nothing more than a slight crack, but it was still there nonetheless.

"I…I don't know." I looked over at her, and found that she was looking at me too. "Are we?"

"I really thought that we were. I mean, aren't we?" her eyes were becoming shinier, and I had to glance away. I couldn't deal with crying.

"I guess so…but, the point is, we're constantly fighting and making it out to seem that we hate each other. And I know that I'm the worst of us, and I've treated you like utter garbage, but you've done things too, and I don't know how all of that led up to this, but I hate it, and don't know what to do, but I don't want to have to do it without you!" I hadn't realized that my voice had risen, so when I heard just how loud I was being, I tried to bring it down a notch. "But I will if I have to, and I will go back to Beck and act like nothing ever happened .But, I don't want to."

Another moment of deafening silence. I looked back at her when I felt the bed shift, and found her on her side, staring at me. She was propped up on her elbow, and her eyes were dry once again. "I don't want you to do that, either." She said after another minute, her words slow and careful. "I really don't. But I don't want to hurt Beck, either."

"Neither do I. But…."

"You don't want to break up with him, either?" she finished for me. She waited for me to nod before continuing. "I can get that. He's your rock, right? But, where does that leave us?"

"It leaves us right here, right now." I twisted so I was on my side as well, with my hand on the pillow next to my face. "He doesn't need to know."

"You would really do that?"

"Well, what else do you propose we do? Tell Beck that you're dumping him to fuck around with me, the girl who you've made no qualms about expressing your dislike for? Or perhaps pretending to keep dating him, but going out with me on the side?" the sarcasm in her tone was incredible. It was so unlike her; so unlike the innocent Tori Vega that was nothing but sweetness and sugar. For some ungodly reason, this side of her was making me even more turned on. And then her last idea actually hit home, and I sat up quickly.

"Yes."

She looked at me, surprised and more than a bit confused. "What?"

"Yes. Yes, that is precisely what we should do. I'll pretend to keep dating Beck, but you and I will really be going out."

Tori just stared at me, her eyes never leaving mine. "You're being serious."

I nodded. "Well, why the hell not?"

"Well, there's the whole "breaking the heart of your boyfriend" thing." She let that thought linger before going on. "Oh! And then there's the whole, pretending to date him thing! You really think he'll go for that?"

I just smiled, and nodded. "Yes. I mean, seriously, if anything, he might think it's hot." Inside, I was praying that I wasn't just spouting bullshit, because I could very easily be wrong. But, I wasn't about to let her know that.

"Well, then we should probably go ask him…" she swung her legs off the bed, and stood up. I followed, stepping in front of her before she could open up her bedroom door.

Before she could say anything else, I grabbed her wrist and pulled her close, pressing my lips to hers, wanting to taste her one last time before we left. She was surprised, but I could feel her lips move against mine in return, almost desperate.

Then we parted, looked at each other for a moment, then left without another word, the severity of the situation beginning to sink in.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N:

Read, Review, Enjoy.

-Flame

* * *

"I'm sorry, but I think you'll have to repeat that for me." Beck said, staring at Tori and I. "You guys are _what_?"

Tori spoke before I had the chance to. "We…kind of like each other." She reached behind her head, scratching the nape of her neck nervously. "And, uh….kind of want to pursue wherever our feelings take us…"

Beck just stared at her for another moment, then turned his attention to me. "So wait. What you're saying is that you two, who have always _hated_ each other, are now finding that you want to fuck each other? Is that basically it?" His voice was calm, but after dating him for a few years, I could tell that he was definitely not the cool and collected image he normally was.

Tori opened her mouth to reply, but I held up my hand to stop her. "No, Beck, we don't want to just fuck, as you so kindly put it. We want to see if the feelings we have are actually valid, and if they are, we want to actually be able to pursue them."

"And just how does that involve me?" he asked, his eyes finally leaving our faces. "I mean, it's apparent that you guys are already together in some way. How long have you been doing this behind my back? Just out of curiosity's sake, of course."

"It's not like that, Beck." I answered. Inside, I felt my stomach curl up into a painful knot. I knew that this conversation was going to be difficult, but I hadn't really realized just how much potential there was to hurt him. "We're here right now to prevent me from cheating on you."

"How, exactly?"

"By asking for forgiveness," I began, my hands clasping tightly between my knees, "and by asking for a favor."

"A favor?" Beck's eyebrows rose. "And what favor would that be?"

"We need you to break up with Jade….but still pretend to date her." Tori answered. I glanced over at her, noticing that she refused to look at Beck when she spoke.

I looked back to Beck to see his reaction. To my surprise, he hadn't really reacted at all. He just kept staring at the floor of his RV, his fingers interlocked in front of him.

After a moment, he spoke. "No."

I was stunned. "What?"

He finally looked up at me. "I said, no. Yes, I'll break up with you, since that is obviously going to happen anyway, but there is absolutely no way that I will pretend to keep dating you just so you can keep your real relationship a secret. I'm not going to be used like that."

"But…" I began, stopping when I felt Tori place her hand on my leg.

"Thank you, Beck." She stood up, walking to the door of the RV. "I'm going to wait outside, okay? You two should discuss this alone."

"But, Vega…"

She shook her head. "No. I'll still be here when you're done. I'll just be in the car." She opened the door, and stepped outside. "And for what it's worth, Beck, I'm sorry. I hope that you'll still be my friend."

The door shut before he or I had a chance to respond, though I don't think either of us would have anyway.

I looked away from the door, back down at my feet, not wanting to face him. I could hear the soft sounds of his breathing across from me, but if he had anything to say, he obviously wasn't going to initiate the conversation.

I didn't want to, but I'm an impatient person, and the silence was driving me nuts. "Beck, I…"

"Save it." The cold edge in his voice caused me to look up at him in concern.

"I didn't want to hurt you. You have to believe me." I whispered.

He finally met my eyes, and in his, I could see pain. "But you did, Jade. You did, and nothing you can say can make it better. And I don't want you to even try, because it'll just make it worse. So you can go and have fun with Tori, like I know you want to. Just…leave me alone."

"I love you." I don't know why I said it, and it was a lie, but it escaped past my lips before I could stop it.

He shook his head, and laughed a short, dry laugh that was anything but funny. "Get out of here, Jade. Just go, okay, before you make this any worse."

I sat there a moment longer, then stood up, walking to the door. I grasped the handle, then stopped. "I'm sorry."

Silence answered me, and I left before I said anything else that I would regret.

* * *

Tori was true to her word, and was sitting in the passenger seat of my car when I walked out of the RV. She didn't get out when she saw me, instead just remaining where she was.

I opened the driver's door and slid inside, turning the key in the ignition. I drove us out of there, eager to get as far away from Beck and his home as fast as I could.

I had expected her to say something, anything, but she didn't. Neither of us did for the longest time. It was at least five minutes and a mile or two before the tension had gotten too much for us to bear.

"Did we just make a mistake?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

The streetlight up ahead of us turned yellow. I didn't slow down, instead pressing my foot harder onto the gas, propelling us forward at an even faster rate. "If you're having second thoughts now, Vega, I may just have to kill you."

"I didn't say I was having second thoughts. I just asked if we made a mistake."

"That's basically the same thing." I flicked the turn signal on, veering left.

"No, it's not. Second thoughts would indicate that I don't want to do this, and trust me, I want to do this. Making mistakes would indicate that we could have done this a different way."

"Oh." I pulled the car into her driveway, putting it into park. "Then yeah, we probably made a huge mistake." I turned so I was facing her, undoing my seatbelt as I went. "But, I don't think that we are a mistake…right?"

She shook her head. "No. I don't think so." She looked at me, her eyes darker than normal in the night. "Will Beck be alright?"

"Truthfully?" I shrugged. "I don't know. He….didn't react well."

"Yeah, I know." She sighed, sinking lower in her seat. "I didn't want to hurt him."

"Neither did I, but I didn't want to cheat on him either, so I think this was the better of the two options."

She nodded, though I'm not sure if it was in agreement or just plain acknowledgment. "Are you okay?"

The question surprised me, though I'm not quite sure why. Perhaps it was because even though Tori often asked me that question, this was the first time where the answer mattered? Or perhaps not. I don't have a fucking clue.

"I guess so." I paused. "Are you?"

She waited, then nodded. "I think so."

"Well, good." I sat back in my seat, and sighed. "So. What do we do now?"

Tori laughed, and out of the corner of my eye, I could see her shake her head. "Oh god, I have no idea."

"Cool, because neither do I." A grin formed on my lips. "But, we can figure that out later, right?"

"I suppose so." She smiled as well, and looked at me with an expression on her face that I had never seen on her before. "Can I kiss you now?"

I just laughed, and leaned over, allowing her to press her lips against mine without speaking another word.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N:

Read, Review, Enjoy.

-Flame

* * *

The next day came far quicker than I expected. Far quicker than I wanted.

I had left Tori at her house the previous night after trying to figure out what we were going to do. We decided that we should keep it a secret, especially since Beck had not agreed with our plan. Parading around in front of him would just be cruel, and besides. I don't think either of us was ready to be out like that.

But that basically just left us where we were. Hidden. But that could have its benefits, or at least, I could have some fun with it.

I didn't tell anyone about how I broke up with Beck, and I honestly didn't think that he would tell anyone, either. But, when I walked through the doors to Hollywood Arts that morning, I could tell that they knew. They already knew.

Fuck.

It was silent, and all eyes were pointedly directed everywhere but where I stood. A few brave souls peeked at me when they thought I wasn't looking, and I didn't bother to call them out on it. Why should I?

For once, there was no one waiting by my locker. No Beck with a coffee in hand. No Cat with a fresh story of sibling fuckery to tell. Nobody.

Normally, I would have been relieved. But this time, I was only convinced further that the news of the breakup had permeated throughout the school. And that made me uneasy.

I gathered my textbooks from my locker, and made my way to my first class.

* * *

You would think that I would get used to the stares and whispers, but they still pissed me off, even hours later when it was lunchtime.

I stood in line at Festus' truck, waiting for the Britney Spears-wannabe in front of me to hurry up and order her burrito. I had never seen anyone move so goddamn slow. I mean, seriously, how hard was it to order a fucking burrito? Apparently far too difficult for this chick.

Behind me, I could hear a bunch of guys whispering to each other. They spoke too low for me to hear everything, but I could hear a few choice snippets. Judging by what I could understand, they had this idea in their heads that since I was single now, I would be up for a night of fun and fucking with them. Fat chance.

I turned my attention back to the girl in front of me, who apparently still hadn't ordered her burrito. Between her and the fuckholes behind me, my patience was a bit shot.

I pushed her aside, stepping in front of Festus' counter. "I'll take a bean and cheese burrito, with extra sour cream on the side."

"Hey!" exclaimed the prissy diva who I had pushed aside. "You can't just…"

I turned my head, and gave her my patented DoNotFuckWithMe glare. She shrunk back, muttering apologies. Smart girl.

"One burrito. Two fifty." Festus said, sliding a tray across the counter towards me. I reached into my bag, pulling out my wallet. I counted out the money, and handed it to him, grabbing my food.

A few moments later, and I was sliding onto the bench of our group's customary lunch table. No one else was there yet, which was fairly odd, but I tried not to pay much attention to it.

I was halfway through my burrito before they finally showed up.

They came as a group, with everyone but Tori having these fearful expressions on their faces. Tori just looked like she was trying not to burst out laughing. Strange.

She sat down across from me, her tray bouncing off the plastic table as she set it down. "Hey, Jade."

I could hear the group take a collective deep breath, and couldn't help but raise an eyebrow, meeting Tori's eyes. She just shook her head, breaking off her gaze as she looked down at her food, trying to hide the smile spreading across her face.

I turned my attention to the rest. "Are you guys going to sit down, or just stand around like a bunch of monkeys all day?"

Robbie was the first to jump into action, scrambling onto the bench before the others could. I'm pretty sure he was motivated by his fear, though, since I could see Rex shaking as Robbie tried to still his tremors. Cat came next, sliding next to him, her bubbly exterior masking something I couldn't see. Then it was Andre, who sat next to Tori. Out of all of the three, he looked the least concerned, though there was a definite look of confusion in his eyes. Their trays filled the top surface of the table, but they were careful to keep them from touching my own tray.

After a few more moments of silence and stares, I had had enough. "Is someone going to tell me what's up, or am I going to have to drag it out of you?"

"Is it true that you and Beck broke up?" Cat finally asked, the speed of her words almost too fast for me to actually understand what she had said.

"Yeah, Kitty-Cat. We broke up." I took another bite of my burrito, chewing slowly. "Is that all?"

"Is it true that you were cheating on him with Ryder Daniels?" came Cat's next question. I looked up at her, then glanced at Tori, who was shaking softly with hidden laughter. I looked back at Cat.

"No, and I don't know where you got that idea, but it's definitely wrong."

"Is it true that you turned into a dyke?" asked Rex.

"Rex!" Robbie exclaimed, clapping a hand over the puppet's mouth. He looked at me, the fear in his gaze multiplying by an infinite amount. "He didn't mean that, he didn't…"

I fought every urge I had to look at Tori, instead glaring at the frightened boy next to me. "No. And if you don't want your hand sewed to the inside of that puppet's guts, I wouldn't say it again."

Robbie nodded, head bobbing up and down at an incredible speed. Cat reached over, pulling Rex off of his hand, setting it down on the bench between them.

"Is that it?" I asked, looking around the table. "Where's Beck?"

"Skipped." Andre replied, a touch of bitterness in his voice. "Told me he didn't feel like dealing with post break-up bullshit."

"Smart." I took the final bite of my burrito, wiping my hands with a napkin. "If that's all, I think I'm going to go." I stood up, grabbing my tray. "Vega!"

Tori looked up at me, a mixture of amusement and surprise in her eyes. I felt a smile pulling at my lips, but fought it back. "Come with me. I want to figure out when we're going to film our project for Sikowitz."

"I'm still eating."

"So?"

"So, I want to finish eating." She replied, poking her salad with her fork for emphasis.

"And I want a million dollars. We don't always get what we want." I began to walk away, heading towards the trashcans. I could hear her sigh behind me, then the shuffle of her getting off of the bench.

"Girl, you just said you wanted to finish eating!" I heard Andre say to her. I tipped my tray over the trashcan, ears perked for her answer.

"Yeah, well, she's right, we do need to get that figured out." Tori replied. I turned around, watching her walking towards me. She came up to the trashcan, grabbing her salad off the tray, dumping the rest.

"I'll come, but I'm eating on the way." She said, frowning at me. I just grinned, walking towards the school. I could hear her footsteps behind me, becoming sharper and more pronounced as she quickened her pace to catch up to me.

"So, what's this really about? We decided on a date for filming last night, remember?" Tori said, following me through the door to the school.

"You'll see in a minute." I glanced around, eyes darting down the hallways, making sure there was no one wandering about. "Okay." I reached forward, grabbing the door handle to the janitor's closet, opening it. "Inside."

"What?" Tori's eyes grew wider. "Jade…"

I rolled my eyes, grabbing her hand, making sure to grab the one that didn't have the salad in it. I pulled her inside, shutting the door behind us, making sure to turn the lock so it was latched.

"Jade, what are we doing here?" Tori asked, the familiar touch of fear in her voice. I couldn't really blame her. It was a dark closet, and I was a girl who was well known to carry scissors on her person at all times.

I grabbed the salad out of her hand, and set it on one of the many shelves that surrounded us. "I have spent all day being stared at, whispered at, and just all-around gawked at by the entire student body. Excuse me if I wanted to spend some time with you alone." I pretended to sound hurt, and judging by Tori's reaction, I had been pretty convincing.

"Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't even…" she began, stopping when I leaned over and kissed her. She was surprised, of course, but once she snapped out of it, she began to kiss me back.

I pushed her back against the wall, pressing my body as close to her as I could. My lips left hers, moving down to her neck, sucking her skin softly. I heard her gasp, but ignored it, my hands moving down over her ass, feeling the firm muscle beneath her jeans.

"Jade!" she gasped, her breathing heavy. "People could see us!"

I rolled my eyes, moving my lips back to hers for a moment before replying. "Where's your sense of adventure, Vega?" I didn't let her answer. "I locked the door. Don't worry."

"Still, we're going to be late for class, and our friends will worry, and…." She was practically stammering.

"Tori, I'm not planning on going to class for the rest of the day." I said, pulling away from her, the moment basically gone. "I'm planning on sitting here, either making out with you, or cutting up trashcans." I pulled my scissors out of my waistband, waving them emphatically. "So, no matter what, I'm staying here. You don't have to though, if you don't want to."

Her eyes followed the scissors as I waved them. "So, you're saying that if I don't stay here and keep kissing you, you're going to vandalize the janitor's trashcans again?"

"Basically." I didn't bother to hide the grin on my face. "So, what'll it be?"

"Well…I guess if it's to prevent you from committing vandalism…" she smiled, leaning forward. "I guess I'll keep on kissing you."

"Smart choice." I pulled her forward, the scissors dropping from my hand. "A very smart choice."

"Oh, shut up." She said, kissing me gently.

"Vega's being feisty today, huh?" I murmured against her lips. "I like that."

"Good." She replied, kissing me again. "Because there's a lot more where that came from."

* * *

If our friends missed us, they never said, because when we stumbled out of that closet at the end of the day, they were already gone, and the school was deserted.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N:

Read, Review, Enjoy.

-Flame

* * *

The due date for Sikowitz's assignment was quickly approaching, and as much as it pained Vega and I to do much more than make out, we realized we had to film our movie, or we were going to fail.

Because of that, we found ourselves in the Black Box Theatre, with a single video camera, and an overly excited Robbie Shapiro, who had agreed to film us in exchange for five bucks and a case of Peppy Cola.

"Are you guys ready to go?" Robbie asked, inspecting his camera for the fiftieth time. "I have to be in Northridge by six, and I'd…"

I held up my hand, stopping him midsentence. "Wait, Northridge? What's in Northridge that could interest you, Shapiro?"

His face quickly turned red, and his demeanor immediately became that of the normal, bumbling Robbie we knew. "Oh, I…nothing important…"

"I have a date with a couple of Northridge girls!" Rex piped up. "And I don't want to be late, so get to work woman!"

My eyes turned to slits as I glared at the puppet. Robbie, whose face was now a lovely shade of crimson, met my eyes for a moment, then immediately ripped the puppet off his hand, and put him in a chair next to him, mumbling apologies as he did so.

"Did I miss something?" Tori asked, tying her hair in a ponytail as she walked in from backstage. She turned her head, eyes meeting mine, a smile tugging at both our lips for a moment before the stoic and irritable looks that we were so familiar with making returned to our faces.

I shook my head. "Not much, just Shapiro and his dumbass puppet making an ass out of themselves. Nothing new."

"Hey! I resent that!" Robbie cried out.

"And I resent the fact that I'm stuck doing this project with Vega. So, if you don't mind, can you turn on the camera so we can actually get this fucking thing done?"

"Must you swear?" Tori muttered, glaring at me, arms crossed tight across her chest. I just stuck my tongue out at her, winking when I knew Robbie wasn't looking. She rolled her eyes, and took her place in the seat we had set behind the metal table. "Seriously Robbie, can we just start already so I can get away from tall dark and evil here?"

Oh, that was cold. And feisty. I liked it. And she knew it, based on the glint in her eyes and the small grin on her lips.

"Just one more second, Toro!" Robbie replied. I watched Tori's nose scrunch up at the use of the nickname that Sikowitz had given her. I couldn't blame her. I wouldn't want my nickname to be the name of a fatty tuna. "One more second…and I'm good! You two ready?"

"Been ready for over an hour, Shapiro." I replied, double-checking that we had our props set up correctly.

"Okay then! I'll start filming then!" He bent down, finger poised above the record button. "On the count of five! Five…four…three…."

"Just hit the button!" Both Tori and I said, voices mixing into a singular command. Robbie nodded, head bobbing up and down at a ferocious pace. His finger pressed the button.

And just like that, Tori and I fell into our respective roles.

I stood on the opposite side of the table, glaring at her. "Tell me where you hid the bodies, and you can get a sentence that won't result in your execution."

"I'm not telling you anything." Tori replied, voice cold and bitter. "Go to hell!"

I began to walk around the table, circling like a buzzard circles over its food. "Ms. Harrison, we know that you murdered your husband. We know you murdered his mistress. You're not getting out of this."

There was silence for a moment, then a reply that was careful and calculated. "You don't know anything. You're lying."

I leaned down, face next to hers. "You know that I'm not." I let the moment hang a bit longer, then straightened back up, walking back around the table so I was facing her. "If you don't tell me what I want to know, I will make your life miserable."

"Let me go. You have no reason to hold me here." The look in Tori's eyes was pure anger; an emotion I wasn't used to seeing on her. I knew it was just her character, and not actually her, but it was still so incredibly hot. If feisty Vega got me turned on, angry Vega just escalated it to a whole new level.

I pulled a bunch of photographs out of my jacket, throwing them down onto the table. "Look here! There are photographs that have you at the scene, with a knife in your hand, and blood splattered all over your clothes! There's your clothes right there, covered in the blood of your husband and his mistress! What more of a reason do we need?"

Tori's lips twitched up in a small, sick smile that would have caused a shiver to run down the spine of any normal person. "Well, a body would help."

I gritted my teeth, the frustration and rage of my character flooding over me. Insolent little punk thought she could act that way? Hell no. Not in my precinct.

I grabbed her shoulders, pulling her out of her chair, and shoved her against the wall, face first. I grabbed her wrists, pulling them behind her back. "You filthy little…" I pulled a pair of handcuffs out of my pocket, and began to put them on her wrists. "You're a monster."

"Am I?" All of a sudden, she kicked back, her foot hitting my shin. Thankfully, she finally got the hang of stage fighting, or else that would have hurt like a bitch. I started to go down, but she grabbed me, and slammed me into the wall. "Forgive me if I disagree."

I struggled against the hands that held me to the wall. "Release me!"

Tori cocked her head, pretending to think about it. "Hmm….you know, I'd really rather not."

I tensed beneath her grip, preparing myself for attack. "I said…release me!" I kicked out, foot hitting her knee. She crumpled in front of me, hands falling from my shoulders.

I bent down, grabbing the collar of her shirt, pulling her to her feet. I pushed her back against the wall, pulling my gun out of its holster on my belt, and held it to her head, my other hand holding her throat. "You are under arrest for assaulting a police officer, and for the murders of Ronald Harrison and Jane Hoffa. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you…"

She started laughing, slow at first, and quiet, to the point where I could hardly hear her, but it grew and grew into a cold and hysterical cackle. "You may want to change those charges a bit, officer." She said, lips curling into a wide, heartless smile.

I stopped reading her the Miranda Warning, and stared at her, the gun in my hand shaking just ever so slightly. "And what exactly should I change them to, Ms. Harrison?"

"Well," she began, the smile on her face growing even wider. "You charged me with two murders. You should be charging me with three."

"Three?" I asked, before I saw her hand whip out from behind her back, a flash of silver, then the cold press of metal against my stomach. I felt the false blade push back into the handle, but fell anyway, triggering the release of the packet of fake blood strapped to my abdomen. It quickly spread over my clothing and the floor, turning the stark white of the uniform crimson. I bit down on the capsule of red food coloring that I had hid under my tongue, and began to cough, the "blood" spattering the top of my shirt.

Tori bent down over me, the knife still held in her hand. "Yes, Officer, three. Ronald Harrison, Jane Hoffa…and _you_." She started to laugh again, breaking off only when Robbie yelled for the scene to end.

"And that's a wrap!" Robbie exclaimed, bringing his head up from behind the camera. "Nice job girlies!"

I sat up, coughing out the last of the food coloring in my mouth. "Is the footage good enough, then?"

"It should be. I mean, I'll need to edit it a bit, and maybe play around with the lighting a bit," Robbie rambled, "but yeah, I think it'll be good enough. It was pretty cool to watch, too! I mean, having Tori as a psycho killer? That's just so weird! Like, I always thought it would be Jade who would go insane and kill everyone, not Tori, and…"

I turned my head, tuning him out. I looked up at Tori, who looked just as bored as I was with Robbie's ramblings.

I looked back over at him, even though he was looking at the camera instead of me. "Hey Shapiro!" He stopped talking, finally, and looked at me, eyes wide. "Get out of here. Get Rex and go on your date with your Northridge skanks."

"But, don't you need help cleaning up?" he gestured at me. "It takes a proper amount of detergent and water to get fake blood out of stuff, and…"

I stared at him, waiting for him to shut up. "Robbie. Leave." He stood there for a moment longer. "_Now."_

He jumped into action when he heard the dangerous tone in my voice, immediately reaching over and grabbing Rex off the chair he had placed him on, and then grabbed the video camera and tripod. "Okay! If you need anything, just…"

"Get out of here!" I demanded, and he just nodded, and scurried off as quickly as he could.

I heard giggles come from above me, and looked up to see Tori laughing, her hand held over her mouth to hide her smile. "What are you laughing about, Vega?"

She looked down at me, letting her hand drop to her side, exposing the grin on her face. "You're just so cute when you scare people."

"Cute? I don't do _cute."_

"If you say so." She held out her hand, waiting for me to grab it so she could help me to my feet. I did, but as soon as I was up, I pulled her into a gigantic embrace. I felt the packet of blood squish against our stomachs, squirting out even more fake blood. This time, though, it wasn't just on me.

"Jade!" Tori exclaimed, struggling to pull out of my hug. "You're getting my clothes all bloody!"

I rolled my eyes, and pulled her to me, pressing my lips against hers. When I pulled back, there was fake blood on her face as well. "I personally think that it looks cute on you, Vega."

She glared at me, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, and then glanced down at her shirt. It was damp with blood. "You are such a gank."

"I know." I grinned, licking my lips. "But you love it."

Tori crossed her arms, lower lip jutting out in a pathetic little pout. "No I don't."

I leaned in closer to her, pressing my lips against the corner of her mouth. "Yes you do."

She shook her head, defiant to the end. "Nope."

I rolled my eyes, moving my lips so that they were on top of her lips again. A small peck. "Yes."

"Nope." All of a sudden, I found myself being pushed down on the floor again, landing in the puddle of blood that I had created on the wood. Tori landed on top of me, and immediately started to kiss me. The ferocity I had seen in the eyes of her character transformed into the ferocity of her lips, moving against mine with such a force that I couldn't help but wrap my arms around her to pull her closer.

And then, she was gone, rolling off of me, and onto her knees. She sprung to her feet, grinning down at me. I just blinked, surprised by the sudden lack of kisses.

"I win." She stuck her tongue out. "Now let's get going and clean up this mess."

I just shook my head, confused, and quite frankly, more than a bit turned on.

After a moment, I stood up, and joined Tori in beginning the clean-up process. It took a while to get done, because let me tell you, fake blood is a bitch to get out of hardwood, but we did eventually finish. And then, of course, we had to strip because we were soaked in blood. And of course, having no shirts on is a great segue into making out. There was just no other option.

And even if there was, who the fuck cared?


	11. Chapter 11

A/N:

Read, Review, Enjoy.

-Flame

* * *

A few hours later, we found ourselves back at the Vega household, confined to Tori's room, pretending to be working on the video project, but in reality doing anything but working on schoolwork. It was simply a matter of needing a cover story for any nosy people (_*cough*_ Trina _*cough_*) who couldn't keep their nose out of our business.

I suppose that it could be assumed that we were up to all sorts of devious sexual acts, complete with whips, chains, and clamps, but that would be the furthest thing from accuracy. Instead, we were engaged in the greatest game ever known to man.

"Got any threes?" Tori asked, holding her cards up close to her face, eyes peeking over the edges.

I shook my head, an amused grin growing on my face. "Go fish!"

"Arggggg!" she exclaimed, reaching out to the pile of cards. "You suck so much, you know that?"

I raised my eyebrows, bemused. "Trust me, I know." When she looked up at me with a surprised look in her eyes, I let my tongue slide over my lips suggestively. It was a few moments later when she picked up on my meaning, and threw the throw pillow sitting on next to her at my face. I caught it, unable to keep from letting a laugh escape past my lips.

"You're just nasty." Tori grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I know, I know." My grin grew wider. "But you love it."

She rolled her eyes, uncrossing her arms, using her index finger to push her glasses back up the bridge of her nose. "It's your turn. Are you going to go anytime soon?"

"You know, you look so adorable with those glasses on." I remarked. Tori just glared at me, so I turned my attention to my cards. "Got any fives?" I looked back up at her, meeting her eyes.

She kept her gaze steady for another moment, then glanced down at her cards. A scowl crossed her face as she pulled a five out of her hand and handed it to me. I took it, dramatically placing it in front of me, along with some other cards in my hand. Tori continued to glare at me, looking none too happy.

"This is a stupid game." She muttered, crossing her arms once more. "Let's play something else."

I laughed, leaning back against the headboard of her bed. "Aww, is wittle Tori Vega a sore loser?"

"No! I just don't want to play this stupid game anymore!"

I held my hands out in front of me, shaking my head. "Fine, fine! We'll play something else! Just chill out, okay?" I threw my cards onto the pile, and began to gather them back into their box. "Find another game."

A moment of silence. I could feel that her eyes were still aimed at me, even though I wasn't facing her. I finished putting the cards away, and looked back at her. "Something wrong?"

She shook her head. "No…I just can't think of another game."

I grinned, placing the box of cards on her bedside table. "I can think of a game we can play…."

"Are you about to say something gross? Because there's no way that I'm doing something gross."

"Oh, trust me." I moved closer to Tori, a hand resting on top of her thigh. "There's nothing gross about what I'm thinking of…"

Tori squeaked (yes, squeaked, she literally fucking squeaked), and shoved my hand away. "Jade!"

I laughed, then lay down next to her, looking up at her. "You're such an prude, Vega."

"Am not!" There was a sudden shift of the bed, and before I could move, she was on top of me, holding my arms above my head. There was a look in her eye that I had never seen on her before, and I would be lying if I said that a flash of fear didn't run through me. But then her lips were on mine, and I just didn't care anymore. She could murder me horribly right there and then, and I would be okay with it. She was just that good of a fucking kisser.

After a moment, she lifted her head away and rolled off of me. I could hear her soft pants as she caught her breath.

"Who's a prude now?" she gasped, chest rising and falling quicker than normal. I just rolled my eyes, and reached out to pull her closer to me, and kissed her with as much force as I could muster. She struggled for a moment, then relaxed as I calmed down the level of intensity, moving into a slower, gentler kiss.

Of course, that calm was interrupted when my hand began to creep up her shirt. Almost immediately, she shivered, and pulled away from my lips. "Jade…"

"Shut up." I whispered, pulling her back closer. "I'm not going to do anything we haven't already done, so just relax and enjoy it."

I could see the uncertainty in her eyes, but she let me kiss her again, and after a moment, her eyes closed, and the passion that I was used to receiving from her returned.

Her skin was warm underneath my fingertips as they made their way up her torso. I let them linger over her, tracing the ribs that could be felt underneath the skin, relishing the tremor that I felt run through her.

I let my tongue run over lower lip, and she opened up for me, allowing me entrance. I expected her to fight for dominance, since she usually did, but for once, she didn't, and simply moaned as my fingers disappeared underneath the soft cup of her bra.

**Knock. Knock. Knock. **

"Tori? Tori, honey, are you in there?" Tori's mother called out. We immediately froze, realization taking a moment to click in. But then it did, and I found myself rolling off of Tori back over to the complete opposite side of the bed. I grabbed a notebook and pen off of her bedside table, and started to pretend to jot things down.

"Yeah, Mom, I'm here!" Tori yelled back, trying desperately to straighten her shirt, a hand running through her hair in a futile attempt to untangle it. "What do you need?"

The door opened, and Mrs. Vega stuck her head in, eyes darting around the room. I could see her gaze settle on me for a moment, eyes narrowing just the slightest bit. And then she moved on, gaze finding her daughter. "Robbie's here. He said he needs to talk to you."

Robbie? What would Robbie be doing here? Didn't he have that date with those Northridge girls? I glanced over at Tori, and could see the same thoughts run through her head, a frown on her lips.

"Uhm…okay. Send him up, I guess." Tori said, her hand idly scratching the top of her head.

Mrs. Vega kept looking at us for another moment longer, confusion in her eyes. "Is everything alright, baby? Is there something wrong?"

Tori shook her head quickly. A little too quickly. "No! Nothing's wrong!" She smiled to emphasize her point.

Mrs. Vega frowned, and backed out of the room. "Okay…I'll tell Robbie to come on up."

"Thanks!" Tori called after her, leaning so she could watch as her mother walked away. Once she was sure she was gone, she turned to me. "Oh my god, I can't believe…"

I shook my head, holding a finger to my lips. "Shh. Something's up. Robbie shouldn't be here." I sat up straighter, hearing the sound of footsteps coming up the staircase. "Just be cool, and quiet, and everything will be fine."

I could tell she didn't believe me, but since I didn't believe myself, I couldn't really blame her. But, she listened, and didn't say another word until Robbie was at the door.

"Uh…hey, guys!" he said, leaning against the doorframe. "Is it alright if I come in?" I noticed that he didn't have the puppet with him. Strange.

"Yeah, sure, come in." Tori said, her hands still smoothing down her shirt. I saw her glance over at me, but refused to meet her eye. I didn't like the feeling I had right then. There was seriously something up.

Robbie entered the room, shutting the door behind him. Yet another strange thing. I wasn't liking this one bit.

"So, what do you want, Shapiro? Don't you have a bunch of Northridge girls to screw around with?"

He shook his head, standing in front of us. "No, Rex had the date, not me. He's with them now, actually." He began to sit down on the bed, then thought better of it when he saw the look that both Tori and I were giving him. "And can't I just come over to hang out with my friends?"

"No." I replied, as calmly as I could, but the words were still tinged with a hint of danger. "I'm not your friend."

"Well, maybe you should be, because…" He stopped himself, clapping a hand over his mouth. My eyes narrowed, and I swung my legs off the bed, stepping onto the floor. I walked closer to Robbie, hands balling into fists.

"Because what, Shapiro?" I growled, reaching up to grab his collar. In the corner of my eye, I could see Tori shake her head at me, but I ignored her.

He swallowed, Adam's apple bobbing up and down. "Because…I know your secret."

Secret? What secret? That Beck and I broke up? No, everyone knew that. That I was secretly a fan of certain chick flicks? Well, that was a secret, but there's no way he would know that. That I was dating Tori?

_Tori. Shit. _

I could see her stiffen, and as the other stupid thoughts left my head, it left the certainty that somehow, someway, the scrawny boy I held in my grasp knew about me and Vega. I tried to remain calm, though, and turned back to Robbie. "And what secret would_ that_ be?"

"That you and Tori are together."

There was a blur in my peripheral vision, and before I could turn to see what it was, Tori was next to me, wrenching Robbie out of my grasp and into her own. "How?!" she yelled at him, shaking his body. "How did you find out?!" Robbie just squeaked in fear, trying to escape, but it was useless. Her grip wasn't going to be broken.

I must say, I really kind of wanted to just let Vega go at it, because quite frankly, it was pretty funny to watch, but the look that was in her eyes scared me a bit, and if she murdered him, we would both go to prison. So, I reached over, laying a hand on hers. "Vega." She didn't turn. "Tori, you need to calm down."

"No I don't."

"Uhm, guys…" Robbie began.

"SHUT UP." We both yelled. His mouth clamped shut, and he nodded quickly. I turned my attention back to Tori.

"Let go. I'll take care of it." I told her, trying to sound reassuring. Trying, mind you.

She looked at me, and it was then that I could see the fear in her eyes. I wondered if the same fear shone in mine, but brushed the thought away. Jade West didn't get scared.

I leaned in close to her, and whispered in her ear. "It'll be fine. Just let go, Tori."

Something in what I said must have gotten through to her, because she let go finally, and sat back down on the bed. I nodded at her, then grabbed Robbie as he tried to scurry away. "Uh uh. You're not going anywhere, Shapiro. You've got some explaining to do."

I don't think I've ever seen the boy more afraid then he was at the second, and I'm still not sure who he was more afraid of: me, or my girlfriend. But, I guess it didn't matter.

"How did you find out?" I asked again. When he shook his head, I tightened my grip on his collar, and pulled him just a bit closer. That was enough to cause him to start rambling.

"Well, okay, you see, after we finished filming, and Rex and I had left, I remembered that I had forgotten a piece of my equipment, so I came back, and when I did, I saw you two making out on the floor and you guys didn't hear me, and I didn't want to interrupt because Jade scares me, and so I ran out of there and left and I don't get what's going on, why is Jade with Tori and not Beck?" By the time he had finished the sentence, he was left panting for air.

I just stared at him for a moment, then back at Tori, who was looking rather wazzed off, and then back at Robbie again. "Okay then. Well, it's none of your business why I'm with Tori, Shapiro." He started to open his mouth to say something, so I kept on going. "And obviously, if you breathe a word of this to anyone, I'm going to do things to you that you will never forget. They will involve toilets, and broken glass. Bad things, Robbie. Bad things. So, what are you not going to do?"

"Say anything to anyone?" he mumbled. I nodded, and let go of him. He staggered back, rubbing his neck.

I sat down next to Tori, reaching over to grab her hand. I watched Robbie's eyes follow my movements, and glared at him. He blushed, looking away.

"So. What do we do now?" I asked, honestly unsure of the answer.

"Well, I honestly just came over here to see if you two really…were together, or if it was just a one-time thing….and I don't know." Robbie muttered, eyes cast down at the floor.

"Did you think you could threaten us or something?" I asked. He shook his head quickly, hands waving in front of him. "Then what?"

"I don't know!" he exclaimed. "I really don't know!" he shrunk back. "Just please don't hurt me, okay?"

"Do you promise not to tell anyone?" Tori asked, voice far calmer than I expected.

"Well, you see…uh…Rex saw too, and…."

I felt Tori's hand squeeze mine rather painfully. "And _what_." She hissed, her grip ever tightening.

"And….he may have told Cat."

_ Oh Jesus fucking Christ are you fucking…._

"I'm going to kill you, Robbie!" Tori yelled, jumping off the bed, leaping at the obviously frightened boy. And this time, I was happy to let her, because if Cat knew, then it was pointless to stop Tori from ripping Shapiro to shreds. It wasn't like the secret wasn't going to get out now. Quite the opposite in fact.

So, I sat back and watched as my girlfriend did such horrible, unspeakable things to Robbie Shapiro that I had only ever dreamed about.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N:

I believe that I will more than likely miss the next two weeks of updates, because I am graduating this Friday, and leaving for vacation the morning after and won't be back for a week. So, if I don't update until late June, please don't be upset.

Also…

Read, Review, Enjoy.

-Flame

* * *

And that brings us to the present. Quite a bit of a story, huh? Angry, violence-prone girl breaks up with her boyfriend, hooks back up with him, only to figure out that she's really attracted to the girl she hated for over a year, and thus breaks up with him again to pursue said girl. Just another sappy love story, almost worthy of the crappy chick flicks that Tori so loves to watch.

But the difference between the movies and this is that it's our life, and it's real, and now everyone is probably going to find out just what happened. And I know that shouldn't bother me, because I'm Jade fucking West and nothing bothers me, but it still does, and all I can think about is that it has to be bothering Tori, too.

But I'm not about to say anything to her, because I don't need her to become more upset. So I'm just going to lie here next to her until she either says something, or we both die of starvation. This is especially likely since her family had left only minutes before. They had stopped to say goodbye, and of course, we acted like nothing was wrong. If we can do anything, it's act, right?

"Fuck."

I turn my head so I'm facing her, eyebrows shooting up in surprise. "Did you just drop the f-bomb?"

She ignores my question, and instead sighs. "Cat's going to tell everyone, isn't she?"

I bite my lip, and that is answer enough. She sighs again, throwing an arm over her face. "Do you think…if we called and asked her…."

I shake my head. "No. You know how she is. She'd get all flustered, and accidently tell people every chance she got. So, no, that'd just make things worse."

_Buzzzzz. Buzzzzz._

Tori sits up, and reaches out for her phone, which is resting on her nightstand. She stares down at it for a moment, finger swiping the screen to open the text. Her face is expressionless, but her eyes betray her. There is worry in them, and then, as she reads the text, anger.

I hold out my hand. "May I?"

She hesitates a moment, then nods, dropping the phone into my open palm. I bring it closer to my face so I can see, and immediately can tell why she looks angry.

You and Jade are dykes?

I look at the source, and am not overly surprised to see that it had been sent by Rex. Of course.

The phone vibrates again, and as I open the latest text, I feel my own phone begin to vibrate in my pocket. I ignore it though, and read the text on Tori's phone.

Is it true? You know, what they're saying about you and Jade?

This one was sent by Andre, and although I know that he means well, I can't help but feel a flash of irritation.

"Is this what they're all going to do?" Tori asks me, her voice just beginning to crack. "Are they going to really make a big deal out of this?"

I look at her, and I can see that the anger in her eyes has faded away into something akin to fear. There are tears in her gaze, and I can tell that she's barely holding on.

I reach out, throwing an arm over her waist, pulling her closer to my body. "Ve…" I catch myself, then continue. "Tori. Do you remember the first time that Beck and I broke up?"

She nods an acknowledgment, so I go on. "Do you remember how crazy we all acted? It was the hot topic for a few days, and everyone was all up in our business about it. But, after a few days, it quieted back down."

"But they only stopped talking about it because you guys got back together." She pauses. "Because I helped you get him back."

"So? It's not like that was the only time he and I broke up. There was that time when we were apart for a few months. And people got over that, too." I take a small breath before continuing. "And that's the point. People will get over it. And if they don't…" I smile as wickedly as I can, hoping it will spark a grin on her face. "I'll just have to pay them a little visit."

That causes her to smile, if only a little bit. "You can't hurt anyone, Jade."

I stare at her for a moment, raising an eyebrow. "Well, you got to attack Robbie, so I think I deserve…"

Fuck. That was the wrong thing to say.

As soon as I mentioned Robbie, her smile vanished, and her face got this guilty expression in it. "I shouldn't have attacked him. I mean, he was only telling us that he knew, and that he told Cat, and it wasn't really his fault, I mean, it is Robbie after all, he doesn't really have the social capacity to understand why telling us would make us angry, and really, he didn't have to tell us at all, and he could have just let us find out, and I…."

I sit up, pulling her with me, and silence her with a quick press of my lips to hers. After a moment, I pull back, and hug her close. "Tori, chill out, okay? You were rambling again."

She sighs. I can feel her muscles begin to relax, and I urge them along a bit, rubbing my hand up and down her back as I hold her against my body.

"I just feel so…_.guilty_." she whispers. "First I took you away from Beck. Now I hurt Robbie. What else am I going to do, Jade? What am I turning into?"

I move a bit so I am looking at her, and when I do, I can see the tears streaking down her face. Normally, the sight of crying would make me uncomfortable. I was always taught that crying was weakness; that it was something that children did. But in this moment, I realize that there is nothing weak about Tori Vega, and her tears aren't a sign of childish worry. They are tears of fear, and only I can do anything about them.

"You're not turning into anything, Tori." I begin, cupping her cheek with my palm. I carefully brush away her tears with my thumb, my eyes never leaving hers. "You've got nothing to feel guilty about. Beck has nothing to do with anything. Our relationship was failing, and I knew it already. It was my decision, and one that only I have to deal with. And Robbie? If you hadn't gotten to him first, I would have done far worse to him than you did. I'm not saying that violence is right or anything, but hey, it could have been a hell of a lot worse." I pause and smile, hoping to see her do the same. She doesn't, so I continue on. "So please, don't feel guilty, okay?"

She nods after a few moments, and starts to pull away from me, but I don't let her, using my other hand to cup the other side of her face, and I lean in to kiss her again. I can taste the remnants of her tears on her lips, and it distracts me for a moment, but the moment is gone as she suddenly pushes me down onto her bed.

She's on top of me now, and I would be lying if I said that I wasn't surprised. Or amazingly turned on. Odd how those two go together, huh?

Her lips leave mine, and as I take a breath, I watch as she grasps the top of her shirt, pulling it over her head. She lets it drop, and I watch as it lands a few feet away, at the very edge of the bed. And then my attention is back on her because her hands are finding their way up my torso, and before I know any better, she has somehow gotten me out my own shirt as well. It joins hers at the edge.

"Tori?" I begin, before being silenced by her lips. God, she tastes amazing. Spicy, yet a hint of sweetness. Simply fucking amazing. "To..Tori?" I murmur against her mouth, not fighting all that hard when I feel her tongue sweep over my bottom lip, allowing her access. And then she's pulling me up a bit, hand fumbling with the clasp on my bra.

I remove my lips from hers, and take a deep breath as she continues to undo the clasp. "Tori, are you sure that this is a smart idea?"

She stops and looks at me. "And why the hell wouldn't it be?"

Shit. Is she angry? She kind of looks angry.

"Because…." I have to choose my words carefully. "Because you're upset, and I'm not overly certain how far you're willing to take this relationship, and if you continue doing what you're doing…well, there's a good probability that you're not going to be a virgin when we're through."

For some reason, that makes her laugh. Of all things, she laughs. I raise an eyebrow, and cock my head to the side in confusion.

She smiles, an honest to god genuine smile. "Who says I'm a virgin now?"

Well. She certainly knows how to surprise a person. And before I can respond, she's managed to get the bra undone, and I'm shoved back on the bed, with lips pressed against mine, and a hand cupping my left breast. Her thumb brushes against my nipple, and I moan, unable to help it. Her other hand is travelling down my torso, stopping when it reaches the button of my jeans.

It takes a moment of fumbling around, but she manages to unbutton them, and all it takes is the zipper being unzipped and a bit of maneuvering for her to get them off of my legs, leaving me clad only in my boyshorts.

Her hand runs over the hem of the underwear, moving up and over that ohsofucking sensitive area of my body, and if I wasn't already so turned on, that definitely would have gotten me going. But it was too fast. And there was absolutely no way that I was letting her go first. Jade West does NOT play the submissive role.

And so, without warning her, I hook my legs around her back, and flip over so that she is staring up at me, and I am staring down at her with the biggest grin on my face.

"So. Who exactly did you lose your virginity to, Vega?"

She glares at me. "None of your business."

"Tell me, or else I'll have to tickle you."

Her eyes widen. "You wouldn't."

I let my hands rest on her ribs, and start to tickle. She squirms and giggles. "Okay! Stop, stop!"

I stop and let her catch her breath. "So?"

"Ryder. Ryder Daniels."

I laugh, absolutely unsurprised. "That fucker? You let him screw you?"

She continues to glare at me. "Yes, and if you don't mind, I'd rather be getting screwed by you right now than think about him."

"Up front. I like that."

"Oh, shut up and get going, would you?"

My smile widens. "As you wish, my lady."

I reach around her to unclasp her bra, and in another moment, it has joined the growing pile of clothing at the foot of the bed. Another moment, and her jeans follow.

My lips start at her lips, but they move down, peppering a path from her jaw to her collarbone. All the while, one hand is cupped around her breast, and the other is tracing up her thigh.

My tongue darts out, tasting the skin on the top of her breast, and then I let it run ever so gently over her nipple. She moans, and it prompts me to continue.

I allow my hand to brush over the cloth of her panties, and I can just feel how wet she is through the fabric. It causes a shiver to run through me, and as her hips buck up towards me, I let myself pull the underwear off of her body.

Before I do anything else, though, I stop what I am doing, and pull my head away from her so I can actually look down at her.

There are plenty of beautiful things in this world. Sunsets, waterfalls, the screams of blonde bimbos as they run away from a psycho killer, but there is nothing that even compares to the beauty that is Tori Vega in this moment, right now.

I can't help but gawk.

She seems concerned, because she frowns as she looks back up at me. "Jade? Is something wrong?"

I shake my head and smile. "No. Nothing's wrong. Just…uh…last chance to back out now?" I cough, and force my eyes to look away. "You know, if you want to."

There's a moment of silence before she responds. "I don't. I want you to keep going. Please."

Her voice causes me to look back at her, and in this moment, I see something in her gaze that I have only seen once before when Beck and I had first made love. Lust, yes, but something else.

Love.

And that scares me, but I force myself to smile again, and nod as I turn my attention back to her body.

* * *

And some time later, as she lies in my arms, and the sweat cools on our skin, I can't help but wonder if what I saw was real.

And, if it is…do I feel the same?


	13. Chapter 13

A/N:

I'm back! Graduation was….well, I'm no longer in high school, so that's always good, right? And vacation was fun too.

But that's not important. What's important is the story below.

So…

Read, Review, Enjoy!

-Flame

* * *

I'm not really so big on the touchy-feely crap that a lot of girls are into. Usually, I'm okay with just having a screw, and then doing my own thing, away from any arms that may want to still cling to my body.

But it's really hard to be against cuddling when the one that I'm cuddling with is Tori.

It's not even like it's full on cuddles, either. She's not clinging to me or anything. She's just letting me hold her in my arms, and if I tire of that, just lies next to me as close as possible without full on contact.

It's nice, really.

But at the same time, I'm growing restless, and I know she can sense it, because she's sat up and is looking at me with those great big brown eyes, and she's holding the sheet so that it covers her breasts, and I can see the question forming on her lips but I don't want her to ask it but I let her anyway because I don't have an excuse to stop her.

"Are you alright?"

I tilt my head just the tiniest bit. "Why wouldn't I be?"

She shrugs, her bare shoulders rising and falling, causing the sheet to droop down just a bit, and the slopes of her breasts are visible now. "You haven't said a thing since…." She shrugs again, her cheeks turning a soft shade of pink. "Well, you know…."

"Since what, Vega? Since we fucked?" I grin as the pink turns into a bright red. "It is okay to say that, you know, because that is definitely what just happened."

She frowns, pulling the sheet back up her body so that it fully covers any visible amount of skin on her chest. "I'd rather refer to it as making love, if you don't mind."

_ Love._ There is that word, actually spoken instead of just being inside of my head. Yeah, I know, the context is different, but it still causes the smile to disappear from my face. I bring it back just as quickly, so as to not make her worry, but she notices anyway, and I can see the questions forming in her eyes.

"Jade?" she begins, and I look away, not wanting to have to see the worry in her gaze. I feel her hand rest on my shoulder, fingers gently squeezing. "Jade, is something wrong?"

I force myself to smile wider, and shake my head. "Nope!" I pull the blanked off of me, and swing my legs off the side of the bed. I feel her hand slide off my shoulder as I stand up. "I just….really should be getting home, you know?" I bend over, picking up my clothes that Tori had thrown off the bed haphazardly.

I hear the bed creak as Tori gets off of it. I'm still picking up my clothes when she walks behind me, so when I finally stand up and face her, I'm surprised to find her without the sheet wrapped around her torso. Nope, the woman before me is a completely nude bronze goddess, and it's only because of my shock that she is able to wrap her arms around me and pull me to her.

"Whatever is wrong, and don't bother saying that there is nothing, because I know you well enough," she whispers into my ear, breath tickling the skin, "just remember that I'm here." She moves her head so that she can kiss me gently, then looks up at me. "Okay?"

It's really hard to think straight when you've got Tori Vega pressed against you in such a manner, but I manage to nod my head. It's lucky I'm not a guy, tell you what, because I would have one hell of a boner right now if I was. Thank god for small favors.

She smiles that sweet little smile of hers, and kisses me again before pulling away. "I'll see you later, West."

I just nod again, and stumble towards the door. I almost have my hand around the knob when I hear Tori giggle, and I'm reminded that I'm still just as naked as she is.

A quick pulling on of clothes, though, and I'm out the door.

* * *

When I pull into the driveway of my house, the first thing that I notice is that once again, my mother's car isn't in the driveway. The second thing I notice is that Beck's car is.

Well, fuck. As if I didn't have enough to deal with.

I can see him sitting in the driver's seat, staring at the house. I'm not even sure that he heard me pull up next to him. If he did, he didn't show it.

I pull the key out of the ignition, and just sit here for a moment, contemplating what to do, and trying to figure out just why the hell he was here in the first place.

Fuck.

I open the door, and step out of my car, slamming the door shut as hard as I possibly can. If he didn't realize I was here before, he sure has to now. But still he doesn't move an inch.

That makes me angry, and I know that deep down, that was the point all along. I can deal with anger. He can deal with anger. It's something we're used to.

I walk in front of his car, and cross my arms. A staring contest ensues. I stare at him, while he stares at his steering wheel.

This is frustrating, so I finally just look away and walk to my front door, pulling the key out of my pocket. I take my time actually unlocking the door, waiting to hear the sound of a car door open. After a moment, I'm not disappointed, and he is walking up behind me.

I push the door open, and step inside, not bothering to close it. He follows, and I can hear the door latch shut as he pushes it closed behind him.

I walk to the kitchen, and pull out that ohsofuckingfamiliar bottle of rum and a can of coke. I look back to Beck, and wave the bottle. "Want some?"

He shakes his head, so I finish mixing my drink and put away the bottle. I take a sip, tasting the soda and alcohol, and just stare at him. If that makes him uncomfortable, he doesn't show it, and that makes me even angrier.

I take another sip before setting the glass down on the counter. "What do you want, Beck?"

He doesn't answer for a moment. I watch as he glances up at my face, then my body, and then finally back down to the floor. "You look like you just had sex, you know that?"

Well, if he was trying to make me angry, he definitely succeeded.

"That's probably a good thing, since I just fucked Vega. I sure wouldn't want to look like I was doing anything else, now, would I?" I fire back. He doesn't react, and instead just continues to stare down at the floor.

"Well, I wish I could say that I'm surprised that you two moved this fast," he begins, finally dragging his eyes away from the tiled floor. "But I know you well enough, don't I?"

"Oh, fuck you."

His eyes meet mine, and in them, I see nothing but black. "I think we both know who you'd rather be fucking, now, don't we, Jade?"

I'm about to start screaming at him when he raises his hands in front of him. "I'm sorry. I didn't come over here to….to attack you, or fight with you. That was uncalled for."

Surprise overtakes some of the anger, and I lean back against the counter. "If you didn't come over here to fight, than what _did_ you come over for?"

He pulls out his phone, and after a few swipes of his finger on the screen, he tosses it to me. I catch it and look down at it.

It's opened to the Slap, and just by looking at the top posts of the day, it's pretty easy to see what the trending topic of the day is: Tori and I. Not that I'm surprised or anything, but still, seeing post after post theorize on our relationship is an odd experience, and one that I can't call enjoyable. Especially since half of the posts I see as I scroll down use the phrases "soulless harpy", "dyke", or "oh my god what was Tori thinking?". Fun stuff. I have to remember to tell Tori to stay away from the Slap for a few days.

"I didn't tell anyone."

I look up at Beck, surprised. Was this really what this was about? He thought that I would think that he had caused this? Okay, to be fair, if I didn't know what had happened, I probably would have suspected him, but that's irrelevant.

"I seriously didn't. I have no idea how any of this happened, but I didn't do it."

He looks like he'll keep rambling, so I hold up my hand and stop him. "Beck. I know."

He pauses, surprised. "What?"

"I know that it wasn't your fault." I toss the phone back to him. "It was Robbie and Cat. Don't worry about it."

"Robbie and Cat? How…" He shakes his head before I respond. "Never mind." He pockets his phone and looks at me again. "And you're just…okay with this? With the world knowing about you and Tori?"

I shrug, reaching for my glass and taking a sip. "It's what it is. I can't make everyone forget about it, and it would have come out eventually, so why stress, right?"

He looks dumbfounded. "But…wasn't that whole bullshit about me pretending to date you so that people wouldn't find out?"

"Yup. But, they did, and now we can't do anything about it, so…yeah." I set the glass back down. "Why are you stressing about this? You didn't tell anyone, and I'm not your girlfriend anymore, so our business isn't your business. Why do you care so much?"

There's a moment of silence, uncomfortable silence that I could cut through with a pair scissors. Then he speaks. "Because deep down, I still care about you."

I raise my eyebrows, crossing my arms as I lean back against the counter again. "Oh?"

"I was with you for how long, Jade. Do you really think that all of that can go away with a few words and an apology? You can't tell me that you don't still care about me too, in some weird way of yours. It's just not possible to feel nothing."

He's right. Of course he's right, and I hate that about him. He never was afraid to speak the truth, even if it was potentially hurtful. Damn him. Damn this.

"Of course I still care about you." I whisper, the words burning as they leave my mouth. "But I care about Tori more."

The uncomfortable silence returns as I look down at the floor, not wanting to meet his gaze. I wasn't joking when I said that I hated touchy-feely crap. I'm just not so good at the whole talking about emotions thing.

"Do you love her?" he finally asks. I cringe at the words. _Love._ There it was again.

I don't answer.

I can hear him walk closer to me, his footsteps echoing through the empty house. Then his hands are on my shoulders, and I can't help but look up at him.

"Do you love her?" he repeats, and he's using that sensitive voice of his, the one that he only used to use in the middle of the night when he was lying next to me. But he's using it now, and the reality hits me that this will probably be the last time I'll ever hear him use it with me.

And the deeper realization that that doesn't bother me at all hits me.

Beck isn't mine anymore. I chose Tori. Tori, whose eyes shine like pools of chocolate. Tori, who, even after all the shit I put her through, just came coming back for more and more. Tori, who I had just _made love_ to not even three hours ago. Tori Vega, the girl who had a nice warm grip on my heart and refused to let go.

"Do you?" he asks once more, and this time, I reply.

_"Yes."_


	14. Chapter 14

A/N:

For the first time in forever, I missed an update week without giving warning. I am very sorry for that. There were circumstances that couldn't be helped, and hopefully, it won't happen again.

As always,

Read, Review, Enjoy.

-Flame

* * *

Beck left not too long after I admitted to him that I loved Tori. I can't really blame him. I doubt that anyone would want to hear all about how their ex is hopelessly in love with someone else. I know I sure wouldn't. Still, there's a part of me that wishes that he had stayed, because now that I'm alone, I actually have to face the notion that I'm in love with Tori Vega.

Not that there's really that much to "face", per say. I'm in love. It's really not that complicated, right? It's as simple as anything else in the world.

Yeah. Right. If that was the case, then why do I have such fear in my heart?

That's the question that I'm asking myself as I down the last of my drink and turn to the sink. A flick of my hand, and the faucet is turned on. I stick the glass underneath the spray, making sure to wash away every remnant of soda and liquor that there is. And then, I set the glass down in the sink and cup my hands underneath the water and after a moment of thought, splash it onto my face.

It's cold, and it's distracting, which was the point. Distractions. Anything to keep me from thinking about...

No. I refuse to go there.

I turn away from the sink, and grab a hand towel off of the rack to my left. I dry off my face, and then throw it aside, not caring where it lands.

The smart thing to do would to be to go upstairs and go to bed. It's been a long day, and I know I should be tired, but I'm not. In fact, I'm anything but.

So, instead of doing the smart thing, I grab my keys off the counter, and exit my house again. I hop in my car, and start the engine.

Then I'm pulling out of my driveway, and driving away without having any idea of where I'm going.

* * *

I end up at the school.

This doesn't really surprise me. Where else would I really go? Beck's place isn't an option, Tori's place is exactly where I'm trying to not go to, and I'm not all that close to other people. Not enough to just randomly show up at their place in the middle of the night.

So the school was the only other option. It isn't the first time that I've just shown up here, and I'm not particularly concerned about being caught breaking in. I've had practice, and if they were going to call me in every time I broke into the Black Box Theatre in the middle of the night, I'd probably be in prison.

But I'm not, so I suppose that no one really cares if I happen to just jimmy my way into the building.

There aren't any windows in the Theatre, but there is a back door that is hardly ever used. That is where I'm entering tonight.

I keep a crowbar in the trunk of my car just for this reason, and as I get it out now, it's weight in my hand reassures me.

The backdoor isn't the sturdiest of things, and all it takes is a little prying and pushing before it opens up, allowing me access into the Black Box.

If there is one place in the entirety of Hollywood Arts that I had to choose as my favorite, the Black Box Theatre would most likely be that place. Most people just think of it as a stage for us to perform on, but they're wrong. It's a fantastic place. The props and costumes hidden behind stage bring back so many memories of shows past. Everything sort of smells like sawdust. And when it's empty, like tonight, there's a feeling in the air that I just cannot describe. If I had to give it a name, I would say that it feels like home.

I walk inside, making sure to close the door behind me. I set the crowbar down before walking further.

There are plenty of seats out in front of the stage, of course, but those seats are for the audience. I'm a performer, so my seat is out in the center of the stage.

I sit down, crossing my legs beneath me, and close my eyes. It's quiet enough that every sound I make, whether it be a cough or even just an intake of breath, is amplified. Some people may find that disconcerting. I find it comforting.

_Bzzzz. Bzzzz. Bzzzz. _

The vibrations from my phone distract me, and pull me out of the comfortable silence. I open my eyes, and pull my phone out of my pocket.

I swipe the screen with my finger, opening the text message that interrupted me.

_Are you sure you're okay?_

Vega. Figures.

The nice thing to do would be to respond, of course, but instead, I just set the phone down and close my eyes again.

A few minutes pass, and the phone vibrates again. I mutter a few obscenities, and pick it up again.

_ I'm worried about you. You seemed really off when you left._

I put the phone back down. Yeah, I know, I'm an asshole, but I don't want to think about her, or about anything. I just want to relax, and I can't do that if I get into a text conversation.

I don't even get to close my eyes before my phone starts ringing. Vega upgraded from just texting. Now she's calling me.

Great.

I can't just keep ignoring her, so I answer.

"What do you want, Vega?" The second that the words leave my lips, I realize just how irritated I sound, and immediately feel bad. The silence that precedes Vega's reply furthers that guilt.

_"I just…you seemed really off when you left, and I was worried about you."_ She finally responds. I can hear the confusion in her voice, and it saddens me.

"Don't worry about me. I'm completely fine."

_ "Then why didn't you text me back?"_

"I didn't get the texts." The lie comes effortlessly, like they always do.

There's silence for a moment. It worries me. Tori is rarely silent. She usually is able to fire back right away, or at least stammer for a bit before coming up with something tangible. But she's silent now.

"Tori?" I ask after a few moments, trying to prompt her into speaking. It works.

_"Why are you lying to me?"_ she asks, her voice barely above a whisper. I can hear a touch of pain in the question, and it makes my heart ache. I can't keep doing this to her. I just can't.

"This….this isn't a conversation we should have on the phone."

_"Well, then, where do you propose we have it? Because we ARE going to have it, and have it as soon as possible."_ She's angry. Of course she's angry. She should be. I'm being an ass.

I close my eyes, exhaling my breath in a sigh. "Can you get to the school?"

_ "…The school? Why the school?"_

"Because I'm already here, and it's closer than anywhere else."

_"Why…"_ I hear her sigh. _"Never mind. Yeah, I can get to the school. But you have to promise me that you'll actually be there when I arrive."_

Smart girl. She knows I don't break my promises, and I would be lying if I said that I hadn't been considering leaving. "Yeah, I promise."

_ "Good. I'll see you soon then."_

The phone clicks off before I can respond.

* * *

I thought that it would take at least half an hour for Tori to arrive, but after only ten minutes, I can hear a car pull into the parking lot. It takes her a few moments to figure out where exactly I am, but when she does, she wastes no time coming inside.

I expect her to say something to me, but she doesn't. Instead, she just walks up behind me and stands there without saying a word.

I can feel her standing there, and it puts me on edge. I have to say something, anything, before it drives me crazy.

"How'd you get here? I thought you didn't have a license. Or a car."

"I don't." Her voice is hard, tinged with anger. "I borrowed Trina's car."

"You broke the law to get here?"

"It was important." She walks around me, standing in front of me. Her arms are crossed, and there's a look in her eyes that scares me a bit. "Now spill. What the hell is going on, Jade? Why are you being so…."

"So what?" I prompt, watching her reactions.

"So difficult!" she exclaims, throwing her hands in the air. "I just don't get why you're being so freaking difficult!"

"Me not answering texts translates into being difficult?" I shake my head, trying to keep from getting angry. "Really, Vega?"

"Yes, really!" she glares down at me, frustration evident in her gaze. "I just don't get it! Why wouldn't you answer your texts?"

I look at her for a moment, then uncross my legs and stand up so that I'm facing her. "Does it really matter?"

She steps closer to me, arms still crossed tight across her chest. She has to tip her head back a bit to be able to see me, with her chin jutted out defiantly. "You know that it does."

"I think you're making too big of a deal out of this, Vega. It was just a text message."

"It wasn't just a text message! I was worried about you, and you ignored me!"

Something's wrong. Tori doesn't get angry like this, not over something this stupid. And her eyes look wet, like she's ready to cry. Shit.

I decide that I've argued with her enough. It's just not worth it, because in the end, I know that I was a jerk, and she's right. There's things more important than seeing how far I can push her.

She looks like she's about to say something else, so I put my hand up, cutting her off. She stops, staring at me, bewildered. I take that moment to lean down and press a soft kiss on her lips. I think that she's just so confused, because the only reaction that she has is to lower her arms to her side.

I pull away, and look at her. "I'm sorry. I was an ass, and I should have answered the texts. I hope that you can forgive me."

Did you know that it's possible to look incredibly sexy when you're dumbfounded? Because Tori pulls it off so well. Then again, she could make anything look sexy. Anyway, there she is, staring at me, her mouth open, and her eyes wide, like she can't think of anything to say but still has so many questions.

"What?" she finally asks.

"I said that I'm sorry." I cock my head to the side, a small smile forming on my lips. "Is that so hard to comprehend?"

"Coming from you? Yes." She glances down at the floor. "But apology accepted."

I take her hands in mine. "What's wrong, Tori? It's not like you to get so upset over something like this."

"I…" she pauses, and looks up at me. There are tears in her eyes, tears that haven't fallen, but look as if they are about to. "I'm scared, Jade."

"Scared? Why are you scared?" I ask, pulling her into my arms.

There's a sob, and I can feel her body shake. "Be…because I don't know what's going to happen! I don't know if our friends are going to treat us differently, I don't know if they're even going to like us anymore, and I just…I don't know! What if they all hate us, what if…"

I hug her tighter, and gently lower us both so that we're lying on the floor. "Tori, baby, breathe. You're hyperventilating."

"But what if they…"

I shake my head, stroking her hair gently. "Breathe. Deep breaths, come on, just deep breaths."

She finally listens, taking huge gasping breaths of air.

"Are you listening to me?" I ask. She nods. I stop stroking her hair, and use that hand to wipe the tears off of her cheek. "Good. Tori Vega, you are my girlfriend, and not only that, you are the best person that I know. You're smart, funny, kind…you are so many things that I can't even describe because it would take me years to list them all. No one is capable of hating you, and they wouldn't anyway. We do live in one of the most open-minded parts of the country, remember that. And even if not everyone approves of our relationship, what does it matter? Fuck them! It's none of their business in the first place." I kiss her forehead softly before continuing. "And our friends? Do you really think that they would ever hate us for being together? They aren't that cruel, babe, and you know that. If anything, Cat will probably throw us a coming-out party or something."

"What about Beck?" she whispers, almost too soft for me to hear. I pause, thinking back to my meeting with him earlier.

"Beck doesn't hate us, and he still cares about us."

"How do you know?"

I breathe in slowly, exhaling before I continue. "Because he came over earlier. He saw the stuff on the Slap and wanted to make sure we knew it wasn't his fault."

Her eyebrows rise, and confusion enters her eyes again. "The Slap?"

_ Oops. _

"Just gossip, don't worry about it." I can see the worry set in again, so I try to change topics as quickly as possible. "Anyway, he made it clear that he doesn't hate us. He just…wants us to be happy, I think. Don't worry about him, or the rest, okay? Just focus on me and you. Focus on us."

"Okay…" she sighs, her eyes closing. "I wish I could be like you, you know? You don't get scared. I bet that's nice."

I can't help but laugh, and pull her closer into my body. She opens her eyes, surprised by the laughter.

"Tori, you're wrong." She opens her mouth to pose her question, but I beat her to it. "You're wrong about me not getting scared. I totally am scared, but for a different reason."

"And what might that reason be?" she asks, worry shining in her careful gaze.

_Well. This is it. The moment of reckoning. No going back now. _

"I was scared," I pause, then shake my head. "Scratch that. I am terrified because I realized earlier today that I am deeply and hopelessly in love with you."

She stares at me for a moment, before her lips twitch and a gigantic smile spreads across her face. "You….you _love me_?"

I wince. "Geez, Vega, must you make it sound so sappy?"

"You _looooove _me!" she giggles. "Jade West _loves_ me!"

I roll my eyes, ignoring the pounding in my chest. "Are you done yet?"

"Nope." She leans over, pecking me on the lips. "Now I'm done."

"Okay, good, because I can't handle that happy sappy crap." I sigh, propping my head up with my arms. "I do love you though, which is so weird and freaky because I'm just not used to that, and…"

"Jade." Tori interrupts, catching me off guard. I stop talking, and look at her, eyebrows raised.

She smiles again, and takes my hand in one of hers. "I love you too."

Neither of us say much after that, both all too content to just lie in each other's arms. And I would be lying if I said that I didn't love it.


	15. Chapter 15

_A/N:_

_ Read, Review, Enjoy._

_ -Flame_

* * *

We both knew that Monday morning was going to be difficult, but I don't think either of us knew just how hard it really was going to be. A few taunts, a few slurs, maybe, but nothing more than that.

I think that's why seeing the graffiti on my locker is such a shock.

Walking into the school is a trip unto itself, with Tori and I hand in hand, trying to ignore the whispers that surround us as we enter Hollywood Arts. People stare at us from every angle, and as hard as I try, I can hear them talk. Tori can, too, though her only reaction is her hand tightening around mine.

That was all well and good, but walking up to my locker and seeing the words _Lesbian Whore_ spray-painted in a Pepto-Bismol pink on the metal was one hell of a surprise.

I'm not sure who is more upset, me or Tori. My reaction is rage. Hers' is horror.

"Who….who did this?" she asks me, her words barely above a whisper. I hear the chatter around us stop as everyone waits to see what we will do. For some reason, this angers me even more.

"I don't know, babe, but I'm planning on finding out." I reply, spitting the words through gritted teeth. "And when I do, I'm going to take my scissors and lodge them straight up their..."

_"Who did this?"_

The voice cuts me off before I can detail the horrible evisceration I planned to inflict on the culprit. It is Beck's voice, but it is hard and angry, something that most people would never expect from him. It is scary, even.

He walks up behind us, staring at my locker for a moment before turning to face the crowd. "I said, _who did this?"_

No one speaks up.

Tori's hand is squeezing mine so tight, too tight. I glance at her, and see that her face is ghostly white. I haven't seen her so scared and upset in a long time. I have to do anything I can to make this stop; make the crowd leave and defuse the situation so Tori can breathe again, and so I don't end up making the situation worse by threatening everyone around us.

"Beck, just….it's fine, okay?" I whisper, moving a bit closer to him so he can hear. "We'll find out who it is later. Right now, can you just help get rid of all these people?"

He turns his head just the slightest bit, his eyes meeting mine. For a second, all I see in them is a whirlpool of rage, but it fades away into soft understanding once he looks past me and sees Tori. He nods, and turns back to the crowd. He opens his mouth to speak, but before he can, a different voice echoes throughout the hallway.

"Everyone get to class! Come on, the bell has rung already, get out of here!" It's Lane, and he doesn't look too happy. Quite the opposite, really. But I'm fairly certain that his irritation comes from the fact that everyone is late, not because he knows the reason behind the congregation of students.

A few students trickle away, but the bulk of onlookers remain, eager to catch a glimpse of Lane's reaction to the graffiti.

Lane finally pushes his way through the throng of people, stumbling up next to the three of us. He looks pointedly at me. "What is the meaning of this, West? Are you disrupting my school again?"

I feel Tori shift, her hand dropping out of mine. I glance over at her, shaking my head. No need for her to do something stupid just because Lane is so unobservant. I'm used to it.

I look back at Lane, and step aside from my locker so that he can see the message scrawled across it.

When Tori and I accidently destroyed Festus' car, Lane had been the angriest I had ever seen him. But that pales to the anger that I see on his face as he observes my locker. For a moment, I'm afraid that he's going to make an even bigger scene than Beck did, but when he turns back around to the crowd, I can see that that's the last thing that he's going to do.

"Everyone…leave. Now. Get to class." He says, his voice calm and collected. "If you get there in the next minute, you won't be counted as being late."

That's enough for the rest of the crowd to dissipate, albeit relatively slowly. No one says a word until we're sure that they're all gone. Once it's apparent that the hall is empty, Lane turns back to us.

"Anyone want to explain any of this?" he asks. Again, he looks at me, expecting me to answer, but before I get the chance to, Tori jumps in.

"We didn't do this, Lane."

Lane nods. "I know that. People don't just vandalize their own lockers. I'm more interested in who actually did. But, knowing what's going on would be helpful. It's always easier to reach out to my students when I know what's going on in their lives." He gestures to my locker. "And I think that something is obviously going on here."

"Jade and I broke up." Beck begins, watching my face to see how I react.

"I already know that. Everyone knows that." Lane says. He walks closer to my locker, rubbing the paint with his thumb. A smudge of it comes off onto his skin. "But there's more to it than that, isn't there?"

No one speaks for a few moments, until Tori replies. "Yes. She left Beck for me."

"Huh." Lane turns to us, but seems to be looking past us instead of at us. "Guess I owe Sikowitz ten bucks, then."

"What?" I ask, more than a little shocked.

He shakes his head. "Nothing. Nothing at all. Anyway, so you two are a couple now, then?" he waits for us to nod. "Okay then. So, who painted the locker?"

"We don't know. That's what I was trying to figure out." Beck answers, and the edge in his voice shows just how angry he still is.

"Well, we'll find out, okay? Just don't do anything stupid in the meantime." He takes a moment to look at me again. I roll my eyes, and stare back at him. "We wouldn't want you to get in trouble or anything."

"Don't worry, Lane. We won't do anything that would get us in trouble." Tori says, her hand reaching out and taking mine.

Lane nods, and looks at the graffiti again. "As your counselor, I'm supposed to ask how you all feel about this." He pauses, looking back at the three of us. "As your friend, I'm asking if you're all okay."

"I'm fine." Beck replies. "Jade?"

"I'm pissed, but I'll be okay." I respond, looking at Tori. "Vega?"

She nods, squeezing my hand. "I'm okay."

"Well, then, if any of you need anything, you know where my office is. And we'll get this off your locker as soon as possible, Jade." He sighs, crossing his arms across his chest. "Are you alright to go back to class?"

We all nod in unison.

"Good." He begins to walk away, before pausing a few feet away from the stairs. "If you happen to change your mind, your teachers will surely understand."

With that, he leaves without looking back.

"Did he basically give us permission to skip class?" I ask, wanting to break the silence that his absence left behind.

"Seems that way." Beck answers, leaning against the lockers next to mine. "I don't know about you two, but I don't think I'll be going. At least, not first period."

"We're not." Tori replies. "I don't feel like dealing with those idiots right now. We'll go to Sikowitz's class, but that's only because our project is due, and I don't feel like failing."

"You're not going to ask me if _I_ want to go to class?" I joke, nudging her gently with my elbow. She just shakes her head in response.

There's another awkward moment of silence, where the three of us sort of just look down at our shoes so we don't have to look at each other. It hits me that this is the first time that we've all been together since Tori and I hooked up. This realization serves no purpose than to just make me even more uncomfortable.

Tori finally breaks the silence. "Are we alright?"

I'm about to respond, until I realize that the question wasn't meant for me. She's looking at Beck, who doesn't seem to really want to look at her, but does anyway. He's just that kind of guy.

"I think so." He scratches the back of his head. "I won't lie and say that I'm not still a little confused by the whole thing, but I think I'll manage."

"Good." She lets go of my hand and walks over to him, wrapping her arms around him in a tight embrace. "Because I've missed you."

He catches my eye, nodding at me before hugging her back. "I've missed you too."

Tori's voice comes out muffled, but her words are clear anyway. "Jade! Get over here and make this a proper group hug!"

Beck nods at me before I can even protest, opening an arm to allow me room. I consider saying no, but then Tori looks at me with those huge puppy dog eyes, and I can't refuse.

I walk over to the two of them, wrapping my arms around their backs before finding myself enveloped by the arms and bodies of my two best friends.

* * *

Walking into Sikowitz's class is awkward, to say the least, but at the same time, it feels less awkward than the majority of the day's events.

We enter together, the three of us. Beck is on my left, Tori on my right. Every eye in the room is on us as we walk through the door, every breath held as we stand there, waiting for someone to make a stupid-ass comment.

André is the first to say anything. "Hey Jade, I gotta say, I really thought you would end up with someone tall, dark, and handsome, not tall, dark, and female!"

There's a collective intake of breath around the room as everyone waits to see what my reaction will be. Even Sikowitz stops what he's doing to watch, sitting down on the platform with his coconut in his hand and his eyes open wide.

I cock my head, looking straight at André. I try my best to keep my expression angry. "Well, Harris," I begin, "You know what I think?" I pause, letting the moment sink in before replacing the anger with a smirk. "I think that tall, dark, and handsome pales in comparison to that sweet, sweet Latina ass."

Tori starts laughing first, with Beck soon following. It takes a moment for everyone else to join in, since I'm certain that they still think that I'm going to end up murdering them all, but once they do, the room echoes with laughter.

As they laugh, Tori and I make our way over to where André sits, sitting down in the seats behind him. I lean over and punch him on the shoulder. "You're such an ass, you know that, Harris?"

He nods, grinning ear to ear. "I know. But, hey, it diffused the tension, right?" He turns around fully, looking at Tori and I. "How you girls doing?"

"We're fine." Tori answers before I can. "Just getting used to everything."

"Aren't we all?" André nods towards Beck, who is being mobbed by the rest of the class. "How's tall, dark, and handsome over there?"

"Why don't you ask him?" I shake my head as I watch a bunch of girls flirt with him. "He doesn't look too distressed over it."

"Do I detect a hint of jealousy?"

The three of us look up to see Sikowitz standing over us. He looks extremely amused as he sips form his coconut, waiting for a response.

"Not at all." I reply, throwing an arm around Tori's shoulders. "If anyone should be jealous, it should be everyone else, because I managed to land this lovely lady and they didn't."

Sikowitz chuckles, shaking his head. "Oh Jade. Always so blunt."

"Hey, Lane said something about him owing you ten bucks. What's up with that?" Tori asks, leaning into me.

His cheeks turn red, and he nervously sips from his coconut again. "Oh, uh…nothing." He turns to the class. "Everyone! Take your seats! This is a classroom, not a circus!" He walks away quickly, obviously eager to get away from Tori and I.

Tori looks at me, eyebrows raised. I just roll my eyes and shrug.

Sikowitz's voice rings out again. "It's time to present your projects! Someone want to volunteer?" He waits a moment. "Please?"

"We'll go." Tori says. Sikowitz pales, but nods. Tori stands, and I follow.

We make our way to the stage. Tori pulls down the projection screen as I upload our video to Sikowitz's computer. Once we're done, we stand together on the platform, looking out into the audience.

"First off, we have to thank Robbie Shapiro for filming this for us." Tori begins. I see Robbie sink into his seat as everyone looks at him, though I'm not sure if it's because of the sudden attention or because he's having flashbacks of Tori attacking him. Most likely, it's a combination of both. Cat, who sits next to him, leans over and whispers something in his ear. He straightens, and nervously smiles. Cat pats his leg, then looks up at me and winks. I can't help but grin.

Tori nudges me, and I'm brought back to what we're supposed to be doing. "Oh, uhm...so, this is our short film! I'm sure you'll all enjoy it."

We sit down as Sikowitz turns the film on. Someone turns the lights off, so all that's left is the glow of the screen.

_"Tell me where you hid the bodies, and you can get a sentence that won't result in your execution."_

I wince as the sound of my own voice comes out of the speakers. I hate watching myself, so I turn away. Tori notices, and rests a hand on my thigh, trying to reassure me. I glance up at her and smile.

We look at each other for a few more moments, ignoring the film, only looking away when Tori's voice rings through the room, tinged with sarcasm and wit. _"Well, a body would help."_

"You know, you really are a great little murderer." I whisper, low enough so only she could hear.

She grins, and I'm reminded once again just why I love her so much. "And you're a great little detective. Did I ever mention that I get really turned on by that?"

"You are such a little minx." I whisper back, leaning in to kiss her. "And I'll make sure to remember that."

She smiles against my lips, and kisses me back.

"Guys?..."

I feel someone nudging my side, and pull away, irritated. "What?"

"Uhm….your movie is over." André whispers, his face red. "And, well…"

"Are you two done making out now?" Sikowitz asks from the front of the room. "Because, if you aren't, we can find you a nice warm detention room to continue in."

Tori blushes, and I just grin. Sikowitz shakes his head, and turns off the projector.

"Very nice film, ladies. You should be very proud." He looks around the room. "Who's next?"

I don't know who went next, nor do I really care. All I care about is Tori, and nothing else.

* * *

This Monday proved to be very long, with school seemingly dragging on forever. The paint was eventually scraped off my locker by the fucker who put it up there to begin with. I don't know their name, and as much as I would've liked to, I wasn't allowed to disembowel them. Lane promised that their punishment would be enough. I disagree, but there are more important matters than dealing with punks like that.

After school, our group hung out at Karaoke Dokie, just like we used to. I won't lie and say that it wasn't awkward at points, because it totally was. Beck flirted with every girl in sight, André kept watching to see if Tori and I would make out, and Robbie and Cat kept trying to apologize to us. But it was still really nice to be with them all again. I know Tori is relieved that everything is okay in our group. She doesn't really like conflict.

And now, as I drive her home, I can't help but wonder what would have happened if I had kept Sinjin as my partner all those weeks ago. Would Tori and I ever have fallen for each other? Would we have continued to be mortal enemies? Or would fate have worked its course anyway, pairing us together in some other way?

"You alright, Jade?" Tori asks, concern apparent in her voice.

I nod. "I'm fine, babe. Just thinking about things."

"What kind of things?"

"Us, mostly. Wondering what would have happened if I hadn't traded my slip with Beck. Stuff like that."

"What slip?" There's obvious confusion in her voice, and I remember that I never told her how I had ended up being her partner in the first place.

"Well, you see…your name wasn't the name I picked out of Sikowitz's hat. I picked Sinjin, and for obvious reasons, didn't want to be his partner. So, I traded with Beck. Your name was the one he picked."

There's silence, and I'm afraid that I've said something wrong. But then she laughs, a sound so beautiful and welcoming, I can't help but sigh in relief.

"So, you mean to tell me that if it hadn't been for your hatred of Sinjin, we would never have made that film together? We wouldn't have ended up _being _together?"

"Well, you know…fate and all that shit." I reply, pulling into her driveway, shutting the car off. "Worked out in the end, right?"

She rolls her eyes, leaning over. "You are such a gank, Jade West."

I grin, cupping her face in my palm, pressing my lips against hers' gently. "Yeah…but I'm your gank."

"And you better never forget it." She replies before unbuckling my seat belt and pulling me into the backseat along with her.

* * *

I may have been drunk the first time that I thought about Tori in a "less than innocent" way, but I'm stone cold sober now, and every single one of those thoughts still remain. And as long as I get my way, I'm sure I'll be thinking them for a long, long time.

I can't get Tori Vega out of my head, but that's alright. I love her, and she loves me. And that's all that matters.

* * *

_** The End**_

* * *

_ A/N: Thanks for sticking with me, everyone! Hope you enjoyed it._


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